Here’s a shorter-ish links list this weekend; anyone who can name all the musicals quoted here (without using the interwebs as a reference!) gets special mention in next weeks’ installment :). Leave your IDs in comments.

Marry the man today / and change his ways / tomorrow. Vanessa @ Feministing draws our attention to the publication of a new book urging women over thirty years of age to “settle” for “Mr. Good Enough.” While I’m 150% for not holding human beings to inhuman expectations, I find this idea insulting no matter what the age and/or sex of the parties in question. Who wants their life-mate to turn to them and say, “Gee, honey, I thought about it and decided you were adequate as a spouse…”

My white knight / not a Lancelot / nor an angel with wings. Kjerstin Johnson @Bitch Blogs also tackles the Gottlieb Question, concluding that the “take-home message isn’t that successful relationships (and yes, even those recognized by the government) rely on compromises; but that it’s your fault for being too picky to settle down.” Sarah Menckedick @ Women’s Rights Blog adds pointedly (in The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough) that media coverage is only “reinforcing the feminism vs. Gottlieb and feminism vs. marriage dichotomy, setting up feminists as reactive raging crusaders attacking the poor Gottlieb — who was only acknowledging the truth after all.”

Everything you can do / I can do better / I can do everything / better than you. Charlie Todd @ Urban Prankster posts a video and photo of counter-protesters who showed up outside Twitter headquarters to butt heads with protesters from Westboro Baptist Church (the group that tours the country virulently protesting homosexuality). This confirms my hypothesis that one of the most effective ways to combat hate and fear is through humor.

Princes wait there in the world, it’s true / Princes yes but wolves and humans too. Jessica Valenti @ her personal blog that anti-feminists over at the beatifically-named Network of Enlightened Women (NeW) hold feminist activists responsible for the commodification of female virgin status. As Jessica points out, methinks they need to do a little homework on the long history of commodifying women’s sexual status.

You wait, little girl, on an empty stage / For fate to turn the light on /Your life, little girl, is an empty page /That men will want to write on. BeckySharper @ The Pursuit of Harpyness blogs about a “Miss Manners” column in which a young man wrote in asking advice about following up on a meeting he had with the father of a prospective girlfriend.

I’ll teach you what shoes to wear / how to fix your hair / everything that really counts to be / popular! Roxann Mt Joy @ the Women’s Rights Blog reports on the deceptive use of imagery by a conservative Focus on the Family affiliate in Florida to oppose gay parenting. Short version? 1) only straight folks who conform to our current definitions of optimal beauty can be parents and 2) women who conform to those current definitions can’t possibly be non-straight (’cause apparently everyone “knows” what lesbians look like). The mind boggles.

I need a place / where I can hide / where no one sees my life inside / where I can make my plans and write them down / so I can read them. Harriet Jacobs @ Fugitivus points out the monumental fuck-up that was Google’s roll-out of its new networking feature “Buzz” this weekend. Really, Google, please please please do not EVER automatically enroll me in a social networking site again. (Update: Fugitivus now requires a WordPress account to login; if you wish to read about the story without creating an account or logging in, you can visit TechCrunch, which covered the story in Google Buzz Privacy Issues Have Real Life Implications.)

Sentences of Amys / paragraphs of Amys / filling every book. And finally, totally “for the win” this week comes this proposed word-centric condom campaign from Durex as mst’d by Amanda Hess @ The Sexist. I can’t answer her question about what my boobs would say if they could talk, but I find myself mesmerized by the people made of words and what their boobs are saying.

*image credit: Lookout II by rivergalleryartist @ Flickr.

“Turkish police have recovered the body of a 16-year-old girl they say was buried alive by relatives in an “honour” killing carried out as punishment for talking to boys.” Robert Tait @ The Guardian wins for “most horrific sexuality and gender related story of the week” with his story of a Turkish teenager who was killed by her family for transgressing their expectations of appropriately feminine behavior. I wish to point out that, rather than demonstrating some yawning chasm between “West” and “East,” this sort of action should be seen as a symptom of our global preoccupation with the purity and virginity of girls and women.

“It’s maddening that the people who want to take away women’s right to choose have annexed “choice” to their own cause. If the law compelled women like Sarah and Bristol Palin and Pam Tebow to continue problem pregnancies, there would be no heroism in doing so–you don’t get much credit for taking the difficult path if that’s your only option.” Katha Politt @ The Nation vents about the current politics of abortion in her latest “Subject to Debate” column.

“One of Blankenhorn’s leading concerns is with the well-being of children. He has argued, citing solid studies that corroborate this, that children raised by single parents are, as a group, at a disadvantage, and that having two married parents is a boon to children. But surely this raises the question: wouldn’t same-sex marriage help the children of same-sex couples…?” Margaret Talbot @ The New Yorker News Desk wonders why the pro-gay-marriage side in the Prop. 8 case hasn’t pushed the antis harder on the question of how gay marriage will hurt families in Gay Marriage and Single Parents.

And further, Talbot suggests that “You sometimes hear it said that a courtroom is not the best venue for playing out battles in the culture wars [yet] a courtroom can also be a great and theatrical classroom, where the values of thoroughness, precision in speech, and the obligation to reply have a way of laying bare the fundamentals of certain rhetorical positions.” See The Gay-Marriage Classroom.

“I’m not sure. Can your partner be your best friend? If so, can you still have other best friends? And if they can’t be your best friend, then what are they?” Essin’ Em @ Sexuality Happens muses about the delicate line between “friend” and “significant other” in My New Best Friend.

“When I close my laptop and head to work, I’m not exactly sure what’s going on in the world, but I do kind of question whether I’m pretty or young-looking enough to navigate it.” Christina C. @ the Women’s Rights Blog argues that science reporting on “studies” supposedly determining optimal human attractiveness are as biased as the advice columns in women’s fashion magazines in Sexy Science: From Lips to Hips to Cheeks, Studies Rank Women.

“Recent hopes that Apple was about to unveil an electronic device that could do absolutely anything were dashed when it became obvious that the iPad cannot in fact locate the G-spot. Nor can it fit in your handbag, which is another reason why women are disappointed by it.” The Independent weighs in on the kerfluffle about women’s sexual pleasure and “the geographical whimsy with which the mystical G-spot appears to operate (or not)” in Yes, Yes, Yes, No, Yes!

In other sex-meets-science news, Jill Filopovic @ The Guardian comments on the latest study on abstinence-until-marriage propaganda in sex education. “If there is one thing that has proven true throughout human history, it’s that people like – scratch that, love – to have sex…Of course, for a lot of us, the ‘going forth’ part is more desirable than the actual multiplying, and so human beings have also spent centuries trying to separate one from the other.”

And finally, for your “weird but true” story of the week: “Senator Saxby Chambliss, the Georgia Republican, warned [in Senate hearings] that ‘the presence in the armed forces of persons who demonstrate a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts’ would be likely to create an atmosphere susceptible to ‘alcohol use, adultery, fraternization, and body art.'” Lauren Collins @ The New Yorker News Desk reports on the Senate hearings about the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy concerning sexual orientation and kindly alerted me to the hitherto under-reported link between same-sex attraction and the desire for ink.

Note to self: must really see about getting that tattoo I keep talking about.

*image credit: Victoria – Nude woman painting at Whitebird Cafe by Tarjin Rahman @ Flickr.

“I tried to give them an explanation that might actually sink in, something a little deeper than ‘Don’t say that.'” Pandanose @ Little Lambs Eat Ivy reflects on discussing the importance of language with her students in Out of the Mouths of Boys.

“Even in the relationships I had that didn’t have permanence as part of their raison d’être, I have regrets about too-free-sex.” Candelaria Silva @ BlogHer writes about her own coming-of-age during the mid-century Sexual Revolution in Rethinking the Sexual Freedom of My Youth.

“We have laws in place to prevent the exploitation of the vulnerable by the powerful. In other words, there’s a non-reciprocal relationship involved that heightens the risk of exploitation. So far so good. But in sexting cases, the non-reciprocal, exploitive relationship is posited to exist between the child and herself (or himself). And here’s where things start to become nonsensical.” Rachel @ The Feminist Agenda muses about the thought process that lies behind the prosecution of young adults discovered to have distributed naked or sexual photographs of themselves via the internet.

“‘It’s hard to sit and read the dictionary, but we’ll be looking to find other things of a graphic nature,’ district spokeswoman Betti Cadmus told the paper. Alison Flood @ The Guardian reports on a California school district that is pulling the Merriam-Webster Dictionary from its shelves in “Oral Sex” definition prompts dictionary ban in US schools.

(As of Wednesday, LIS News reported the book was back on the shelves.)

“These cynics are missing the point, because few things retain the ability to shock like the idea that a woman doesn’t necessarily float off on an iceberg of chastity after her 35th birthday.” Hadley Freeman, also @ The Guardian considers social outrage (and apparen terror) that still descends upon women in relationships with younger men.

“A pro-life, anti-abortion, pro-reproductive rights, pro-choice person joins the rest of the reproductive rights movement in trying to reduce the need for abortion, through actions such as increasing accessibility to birth control, addressing economic constraints, or supporting adoption.” Alex DiBranco @ the Women’s Rights Blog has a brilliant assessment of why pro-life and anti-choice are not synonyms, and why you can be pro-life and pro-woman but not anti-choice and pro-woman.

“If you’re opposed to porn, to the point where you’re not willing to be involved with someone who ever watches it, you need to seriously rethink whether that’s a reasonable thing for one adult to ask another.” Greta Christina @ The Blowfish Blog writes about porn, relationships, and what’s reasonable to ask of another partner regarding the enjoyment of erotic material.

“Basically, it’s classing a certain normal female body type as obscene. It’s declaring all flat chests to be automatically juvenile, something that should not be viewed by anyone.” In what might be the award-winning story of the week when it comes to blind panic and idiocy, Courtney @ Feministing linked to a story about Australian efforts to make pornography that depicts smaller-breasted women illegal on the grounds that small breasts = children and therefore people who enjoy watching small-breasted women be sexual beings are all pedophiles. Mike @ Someone Think of the Children! (an Australian-based blog) has more. May I just say: W.T.F.

“Yesterday at the Perry v. Schwarzenegger trial was the day you got to see David Boies set loose on a witness, and, to judge by the transcript, his cross-examination was a little like watching your cat play with his food before he eats it.” Margaret Talbot @ the New Yorker News Desk blogs about the latest from the Prop. 8 circuit court trial.

“For the Olson and Boies side, the key point was that whatever either woman actually did, what they felt inside was fundamental. ” Earlier in the week, Talbot also blogged about one of the core philosophical questions that faces both sides: is human sexual identity immutable?

“A trial that should have been a straightforward reinforcement that murder is the deliberate taking of human life instead will be remembered in part as the forum for justifying why a person’s life can be sacrificed to save a fetus.” Emily Bazelon @ Slate explains what went wrong at the trial of Scott Roeder, the man who murdered Dr. Tiller.

“I dread them getting sick not only because I want them healthy, but also because I have so little sick time.” Rachel @ Feministe blogs about a new series from Fem2.0 that tackles the work/life balance in America; meanwhile, Rachel @ The Feminist Agenda shares the good news coming from the UK that fathers in Britain are now eligible for six months paternity leave if the mother of their newborn goes back to work.

And on a final and fluffy, note, Hanna and I have been following with great amusement the story of a English woman who has been charged with an Anti-Social Behavior Order (or ASBO) for disturbing her neighbors with bouts of noisy sex. While on first blush the case seems like an outrageous infringement of the woman’s right to privacy, officials apparently put decibel meters in the building to test for sound levels and found her in violation of noise ordinances!

*image credit: Female nude from Channel 4 life drawing series by carolekeen @ Flickr.com.

To lead off, this past Friday (January 22nd) was the 37th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision and thus Blog for Choice day. I’m still reading my way through all the thoughtful, passionate posts that were written by participants, but in the meantime I thought I’d share some of the round-ups that highlight contributions from around the web.

The Blog for Choice website put together posts throughout the day that excerpted posts; see What We’re Reading, More and More Blogs for Choice, What NARAL Staff and Friends are Saying, More Pro-Choice Blogging, What “Trust Women” Means to Heidi from SisterSong and Posts Keep On Coming….

Vanessa did a similar round-up at Feministing as did Rachel at Women’s Health News (on a small full-disclosure note, they both linked to my own post from yesterday — thanks for the love ladies, and I’m glad what I said made sense to someone outside my own skull!).

I’m (fingers crossed!) going to read my way through all of these during the coming week, and hope to share some of my own favorites next weekend. Meanwhile, here are the rest of your “sunday smut” for this week.

Hanna read and reviewed a biography of Athenais de Montespan, mistress to Louis XIV, and writes in her post about how the author felt compelled to critique the physical appearance of her historical characters.

Steerforth @ Age of Uncertainty shares with us the nineteenth-century perils of novel reading for women.

Nathan Schneider @ Killing the Buddha ruminates on sexual privacy in the age of the internet, and how “changing the balance of what’s hidden and what’s seen will also change what’s hot.”

Jessica Valenti of Feministing, over at her personal blog, offered some great observations about the damage elitism can do, even in the name of values (for example, gender equality) we believe in: “And that’s what really irks me about this kind of elitism – how some people talk of breaking down power structures while simultaneously using feminist rhetoric to place themselves at the top of a new intellectual feminist hierarchy that does nothing to further justice.”

Coming & Crying: Real Stories About Sex From the Other Side of the Bed is the tentative title of a book project by Melissa Gira Grant and Meaghan O’Connell, described as “a collection of stories (and photographs) from the messy, awkward, hilarious, painful, and ultimately true side of sex.”

“When a friend is sick, you bring her soup. When she loses a loved one, you bring her flowers. But what do you do when she has an abortion?” Before Blog for Choice day, Chloe @ Feministing offered some thoughts on a new script for talking about abortion.

Hanna passed along this respone in the Guardian to a woman who wrote in asking about the ethics of sexual experimentation.

The BBC is trying to evaluate its GLBT programming; Stephen Brook lets us know what he thinks in a recent op-ed titled BBC to ask homophobes what they think of its coverage of gay people. As Hanna pointed out, if only they’d renew Torchwood for another season they’d have their bases covered!

The National Sexuality Resource Center posted a video of author Carol Joffe speaking about reproductive rights and justice in The Emotion Work of Reproductive Health Specialists (50:32 video).

Over at the New Yorker, Margaret Talbot writes about Perry v. Schwarzenegger (the Proposition 8 case headed to the Supreme Court) in A Risky Proposal. Terry Gross also interviewed Talbot on Fresh Air this week; if you have time the audio interview is worth listening to (a transcript is also provided).

EastSideKate @ Shakesville poses questions about the euphemisms for masturbation in our culture.

And finally, something to look forward to: The Guardian reports that Focus on the Family has bought time during the Superbowl to broadcast a reportedly anti-choice television ad. Stay tuned for further outrageous developments ;).

*image credit: Life drawing couple by Philip by life drawing london @ Flickr.com.

Last week, Hanna found a wonderful opinion piece @ The Guardian by a vicar reflecting on his experience ministering to a woman considering abortion.

In a piece that relates to both human sexuality and information science, figleaf @ Figleaf’s Real Adult Sex muses on the challenges of making research available for public analysis when so many journals are provided through astronomically expensive databases.

Miriam @ Radical Doula asks if “choice” is a poor frame for childbirth policy.

Jessica @ Feministing asks people who are against women’s rights to stop identifying as feminists. “I don’t believe that there’s one ‘true’ feminist platform,” she writes. “A huge part of the power of feminism today is its diversity of thought and the numerous intersecting political goals of the movement. But you have to draw a line somewhere. And women who actively hurt other women and aim to limit their choices and take away their rights are just not feminists.” I would re-write that last sentence to say that people who actively hurt women and aim to limit their choices and take away their rights are just not feminists since I believe anyone can be a feminist . . . but otherwise, I’d say spot-on.

Charlie Glickman @ the Good Vibrations Magazine blog offers his own answer to the question “why use the word ‘cisgender’?”

And while we’re on the question of words, the Simmons Graduate School of Library and Information Science (GSLIS) podcast series presents an hour-long research colloquium presentation on “the classification and language of gender.”

The Onion reports that a gay teenager in Louisville, Kentucky is worried he might be Christian. Setting aside the simplistic equation of “Christian” with “right-wing fundamentalist,” it’s a cute joke.

Linda Hirschman @ The Nation weighs in on the Supreme Court’s decision against televising the circuit court oral arguments over Proposition 8 (California’s same-sex marriage legislation). While tangentially a “gender and sexuality” story because of the nature of the case, I’m mostly just disappointed I won’t get to hear or see any audio or visual clips of the legal process. Let’s hope Nina Totenberg gets sent in to do NPR coverage!

Lisa @ Sociological Images points out that a stripped-down cell phone marketed for five-year-olds (yes, five-year-olds) assumes the child using the phone will be part of a two-parent, hetero family unit.

The anti-choice activist who murdered Dr. Tiller is being allowed to defend himself in court on the grounds that he killed Tiller out of the belief he was saving lives. Emily Bazelon @ Slate explains why this is a deeply problematic decision.

And Finally, Hanna and I commute passed the Planned Parenthood in our neighborhood every morning on the way to work, and often there are protesters outside — though rarely more than a handful, and often only one woman with her posters and pamphlets. Still, on the occasions when I’ve walked by at the same time as someone was trying to enter the clinic, the harassment of young women (as likely to be going in for pelvic exams and birth control as abortion services) feels invasive — even to me as a passer-by! It’s amazing to me that the folks who picket Planned Parenthood believe they are being helpful. And yet, as Jos @ Feministing wrote this week, protesters often (disturbingly) believe that’s exactly what they’re doing.

*image credit: charcoal by fairsquare @ Flickr.com.