Well, to be honest my favorite April Fool’s Day joke might have been Google Translate for Animals (thanks to my sister, Maggie, for bringing this to my attention via Twitter).
But a close second of the day was Amanda Marcotte’s Sex Tips for Feminists. Parodying the dating advice of faux sex-positive feminist spokeswomen like Laura Sessions Stepp and the Independent Women’s Forum, Amanda offers some guidence to those feminists who have “settled” for a man who might (let’s say) be a tad suspicious of her political inclinations. What, oh, what is a girl to do if she wants to have her man and her feminism too?
Talking about feminism. There’s no need to do this. Obviously, this seems hard to avoid, since it’s an important part of your life, until you realize that you don’t really need to talk to your man-child much at all. The vast majority of comments you make should affirm what he’s said or be sexy talk, though you’re obviously okay if what you say has to be said in the shortest but most ladylike way possible. “Not to nag, but perhaps you shouldn’t step on that rattlesnake,” is okay under most deadly circumstances.
But don’t worry! If you feel bottled up, that’s why god invented blogging. You can spill all that stuff on your blog, and don’t forget that you’re allowed to talk to your friends on nights when he’s doing something else and isn’t any the wiser.
Books. Being a feminist, you probably have a lot of these, and many of them have man-child-startling titles that could provoke unpleasant discussions, which as you know are strictly forbidden. But don’t worry. Your best friend here is one of those fat markers, the kind you use when labeling boxes. With a few quick edits of the cover, even the most forbidding feminist tomes can seem like sexily unthreatening, empowerful even. Don’t forget that men-children can get antsy if women are more successful than them! But your friend the marker plus some ingenuity can do a quick un-sexing of most female authors’ names.