Two videos for you this morning that attempt to teach young people just how narrow a road they must walk in order to survive into adulthood.

First, a health education film for 1950s college students. While it ostensibly targets both men and women, notice how much more time they spend panning the camera up and down the coeds’ bodies, and how clearly the female students are positioned as primarily objects of the male gaze (forget about your homework, girls!). It’s also clear that although the women are supposed to be sexually alluring they are not under any circumstances supposed to cross the line into sexual availability (slut!) or actual sexual activity.

As my friend Rachel put it: “CREEPIEST. DAD. EVAR.”

Enjoy. And then go wash your eyeballs with carbolic soap.