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Tag Archives: holidays

on being "brought out" [anniversary reflections]

07 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in our family

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gender and sexuality, holidays, the personal is political

It’s been roughly five years since Hanna and I started snogging one another.

And, well, other things. It all happened in a bit of a rush; I never was a very patient person once I’d finally determined it was time to do something new. And for us, apparently, the time for sexytimes was late June 2009.

So yay anniversary!

Image via.

This weekend I was reading The Tolerance Trap: How God, Genes, and Good Intentions are Sabotaging Gay Equality by Susanna Danuta Walters (New York Univ. Press, 2014) and was reminded of the now anachronistic corollary to “coming out,” that of being “brought out” into the queer community by one’s first same-sex partner. Walters writes:

Being ‘brought out’ has within it that dual sense of sexuality and community. One is ‘brought out’ by another queer person and simultaneously brought into the queer community … coming out in these earlier and sometimes explicitly political iterations was understood as both a process personal and social, both confessional and performative, narrating a ‘shared fate’ but also an ‘imagined community .'(70)

This got me thinking about my own experience of coming out / being brought out into self-awareness and visible queer sexuality. My attitudes toward coming out as a helpful narrative (for myself; for others) have fluctuated a lot over the years. On the one hand, I definitely experienced the silencing pressure of presumptive heterosexuality, experienced the feeling of being closeted. People assumed I was straight and I mostly didn’t correct them.

For twenty-eight years. Continue reading →

holiday weekend post about curtains [some photos & well-wishes]

03 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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boston, domesticity, holidays

As the weather gets steamy here in Boston (who was the bright spark who said, “Let’s build on a tidal swamp!”) I’m taking comfort in our airy bedroom with its new IKEA curtains — Hanna and I picked them out because they reminded us of Anne of Green Gables.

I’m also rather fond of my new IKEA lamp…

… as is Hanna of hers.

May your weekend, whatever the temperatures, be as spacious and lazy as ours.

on regional holidays

21 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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boston, holidays

I was going to have a book review post for y’all today, seeing as we’re on a three-day holiday and I had reading plans … but then I spent yesterday afternoon and evening incoherent from migraine pain, so. Here are my thoughts on the holiday weekend instead.

Having moved to New England from the Midwest, one of the most fascinating things about Boston culture from my perspective is how seriously we take our federal and local holidays. Columbus Day weekend, for example, is a three-day weekend in Boston — not just meaning no mail delivery but that schools and places of work are closed. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, President’s Day, Veteran’s Day — hardly a month goes by that we don’t have a Monday or floating holiday on which a good proportion of the professional classes, at least, expect to get a paid day off from work.

I’m betting most of you, if you haven’t ever lived in Massachusetts or Maine (and, according to Wikipedia, Wisconsin?!), won’t have heard of Patriots’ Day or know what it commemorates. Patriots’ Day is today, which is why Hanna and I are in Vermont enjoying a lovely post-breakfast snooze in our B&B, and why thousands of runners are currently pounding the pavement between Hopkinton and Copley Square for the Boston Marathon. (My advice? Ignore all the endless “Boston strong” coverage and watch Saint Ralph instead.)

Patriots’ Day commemorates the battles of Lexington and Concord, early skirmishes in what would become known as the American Revolution — aka that time we Americans eventually kicked some British ass. If you’re like me, you haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about that aspect of American political history, but in Boston — home of the Freedom Trail (America’s first history trail) — it’s huge.

I don’t really have anything profound to say about all of this except it’s funny what parts of American national history are important or not-so-important based on regional experience.

I mean, would it really have been that horrible if we’d remained part of the commonwealth, like Canada did, instead of fighting a long, miserable, and bloody revolution?

Futurama

There’s I’ve said it.

Happy holiday, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing today.

in the deep midwinter, looking forward

27 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in life writing

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domesticity, hanna, holidays, move2014

Our home for the past half-decade.

Last week I wrote a bit about how 2013 treated us. Today’s post is a look at what 2014 may have in store.

In many respects, we’re hoping for a continuation of the stability that has characterized life since last December. Neither of us plan to change jobs, start a new academic program, or pursue radically different activities from this year. We’ll still be very much married (in an ever-increasing number of states in this nation!) and look forward to only completing two instead of five tax returns this year. We very much hope for no health crises in 2014 and a continued baby-step-by-baby-step improvement to Hanna’s depression and anxiety.

At the same time, we do have a few things on the horizon, so here’s what’s on our plate (at varying levels of certainty) in the months to come:

Financial Planning. Exciting, right? I guess it’s a measure of my nerdiness that I actually do find this kind of paperwork and discussion stimulating. Now that Hanna and I are a couple of years out of graduate school and our income has more or less stabilized (*knock on wood*), and we’ve got things to think about like 401(k) contributions and renting vs. owning our living space, we decided it was time to meet with a financial planner. We’ll be doing the consultation in early January, and I’m hoping she’ll be encouraging and clarifying, with perhaps some refinements but no real curve balls (unless they’re the good one — I’ll take good ones!)

Maybe Moving. As I believe I’ve detailed here before, we had a household meltdown earlier in the year that resulted in a mutual decision that it was really, honestly, absolutely, we’ve-waited-too-long time to look for a new living space. This little one-bedroom has served us incredibly well, and I will recommend our management company to anyone who asks — but we’re outgrowing what was initially rented by Hanna in 2006 as a graduate-student space, shared with a roommate. We want a bigger kitchen, more-efficiently-arranged common spaces, maybe a guest bedroom/office, and a mud room where the cats’ litter box can live. We’re ready to be in a neighborhood that isn’t dominated by students. We’ll be looking at both renting and buying (see “financial planning” above), although my suspicion is that we’re not at the buying point yet.

motive Project. For the past half-year I’ve been poking around at the intersection of queer history, history of American Christianity, and history of education with a project on the Methodist Student Movement’s motive magazine during the 1960s. I had a paper proposal accepted for Boston College’s biennial on history of religion, taking place in March, so during January and February will be working intensively on the paper. I’ll be doing a close reading of motive from 1963-1972 and thinking about how gender and sexuality are explicitly and implicitly presented within its pages. This is one small slice of a larger project that I hope will shed light on how and why left-leaning, mainline-evangelical Protestant Christians struggled with the question of homosexuality during the mid twentieth century.

Cats. Geraldine and Teazle will continue with their regime of napping, wrestling, climbing, napping some more, and demanding tuna. We also hope that, once we move into a slightly larger place, we will be able to offer our services fostering cats for our favorite local shelter, Black Cat Rescue, the group that brought us Geraldine.

Fenway Health’s Community Advisory Board. I’ve recently applied to join the community advisory board of our awesome community health center, Fenway Health. If the current membership accepts me, I’ll be serving a three-year term as part of the team of patients who support and consult with the staff on programs and services. I’m excited about this possible opportunity to give back to, and participate in, an organization that has been so good to us.

Travel? The past years have been intense travel years for us, and we learned a lot about how we do (and don’t) like to organize our traveling experiences. We’ve talked about renewing our passports this spring and planning an end-of-2014 expedition to England, but the feasibility of that will depend in some measure on how the moving project falls in place. If we don’t go to England, we’re hoping to take a just-for-us week somewhere quiet (Cape Cod maybe), during the off season, to relax and recoup.

Long-form Blogging? The words haven’t been coming easily the last six months for me; I’m not sure why. I certainly haven’t stopped having the thoughts I used to share through blog posts, or reading the books I used to review in-depth. Part of it is sheer time. Part of it has been a need to limit the amount of time I spend on the computer when not at work. Part of it has been a lower feeling of urgency when it comes to voicing my particular perspective on issues on the internet (I certainly still share my thoughts in private correspondence and conversation). I am hopeful this is just an inward-looking time that will grow into a slightly new kind of online presence. I’m just not sure what that will look like yet.

In the meantime, you’ll be getting more cat pictures and short-form book reviews! I hope you enjoy both.

Less anxiety, fear, and exhaustion. Hanna’s struggled a lot this year with overwhelming feels of the nebulous, negative variety, and we’d like to see less of that as time goes on. It’s no fun.

I look forward to following all of your own 2014 ups, downs, and in-betweens in the twelve months to come. It’s a pleasure to be here, and elsewhere, with all of you.

in the deep midwinter

24 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in Uncategorized

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holidays

Christmas Eve, Berne, Switzerland (December 2003)*

I hope this Christmas Eve finds all of you taking care of yourselves and finding such joy from this season as you desire.

Hanna and I will be heading off to Holland (Mich.) tomorrow to spend a week with family and friends there. If you’re waiting on an email from me, chances are I’ll be able to make some time in the next ten days to send one your way.

Peace and mindfulness as the year draws to a close and the days begin to grow longer once more.

(*I can’t believe it’s been ten years since my study-abroad year in Aberdeen, Scotland!)

a year to carry on carrying on

20 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in our family

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cat blogging, domesticity, hanna, holidays, photos

Gerry practices her balancing skillz on Hanna’s lap.
Looking back on the past year with my therapist on Thursday, I realized that this is the first year in over a decade (for both Hanna and I) in which no major life-transitions have taken place.
Neither one of us began or ended a relationship (yay 1st anniversary!).
Neither one of us began or ended a job (or moved to a different position within our workplace).
Neither one of us began or ended an academic program.
We began and ended the year in the same city, neighborhood, and apartment.
We began and ended the year with the same two companion animals.
With the exception of my grandmother, Marilyn, in June, we had no major illness or death on either side of our immediate extended family.
Cats, they give no fucks for your life accomplishments.
Of course, many other things did change in the past year. The Defense of Marriage Act was ruled unconstitutional. We got new tattoos. We witnessed the wedding of our near and dear friends Diana and Collin. Hanna delivered a conference paper at the Northeast Conference on British Studies. I briefly served as a guest blogger for Family Scholars Blog. Teazle learned to scale the drying rack; Gerry learned to be a lap cat.

But overall, this was the most uneventful year I have had since turning eighteen.

And I can’t say I’m disappointed with that.

thanksgiving with cats [photo post]

29 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in our family

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cat blogging, domesticity, holidays, photos

Last night, Hanna and I thought a game of Scrabble might be nice … and Teazle thought so as well!

Gerry thought she would keep watch over the tiles.

Meanwhile, Teazle helped the humans distribute the tiles properly.

I hope all of you continue to enjoy your weekends, however long or short they may be.

thanksgiving, alone and together [weekend musings]

28 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in our family

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domesticity, holidays

As I said on Twitter earlier today, I hope all of you are celebrating Thanksgiving in ways you enjoy — and that if that isn’t possible, that you are doing what you need to do by the way of self care to keep yourself healthy and sane.

Hanna and I are enjoying the weekend together this year — together, and alone. We went out for coffee this morning at our local Peet’s, and sat with our respective books (hers on Irish nationalism, mine on American Transendentalism) until the dregs of our eggnog lattes grew cold and people in line at the counter were starting to eye our table covetously.

Then we walked back home the long way around Corey Hill, admiring all of the electric menorahs with their first-night candles lit and standing sentinel over sparsely-populated city streets.

Now Hanna’s napping on my chest as I balance the laptop on her shoulder and type out this blog post, cuddled up under the down comforter, listening to old episodes of “The Goon Show” online.

We’re thinking about making a pumpkin pie later, and maybe canning some applesauce.

Over the past week we’ve gotten a wide range of reactions from people who, upon asking our Thanksgiving plans, hear that they amount to “Not much,” and “About the usual.” Colleagues with packed multi-household schedules, friends with travel plans, often respond with envy: That sounds so peaceful to just stay home and go nowhere! A few have given me the look of baffled disbelief: What’s Thanksgiving without a turkey? Without an extended family gathering?

My first Thanksgiving in Boston, I rented a Zipcar and spent the night at a hostel in Harvard, Massachusetts, near Walden Pond. The hostel was a big rambling farmhouse, and when I arrived I walked in on the remains of the potluck family dinner. I spent the evening in my room reading God’s Harvard and enjoyed myself thoroughly, probably with a bottle of wine and crackers and cheese from Trader Joe’s.

In some ways, this Thanksgiving is radically different than that: instead of spending the day on grad school homework and then retiring to rented rooms in the countryside, I’m cozying up with the wife and cats after a morning out at one of our many neighborhood coffee shops.

Of course, looked at in another light, you might say the two Thanksgivings are more similar than they are different: A day spent reading and writing, books and quiet time. Two solitary women being solitary … together. With our solitary cats.

It seems we are, the four of us, well matched. I hope you and your people are too.

things we’re enjoying [photo post + some words]

04 Thursday Jul 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in our family

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boston, cat blogging, domesticity, holidays

Our 4th of July began with an inexplicably cuddly Geraldine. Going on three years with us this October, she seems to have finally sorted out that we’re companionable creatures.

Our weekend thing this summer has been to enjoy our coffee and brunch in the park two blocks up from our apartment, so we decided to do the same today, even though it’s a Thursday.

Since last summer, a new coffee shop has opened up along our walk to work, in what used to be a travel agency. We’ve discovered they make delicious iced lattes, as well as stocking gluten-free baked goods made by a local teen entrepreneur.

Today, we watched all the neighborhood dogs cavorting and our local rising soccer champ practice his moves while we enjoyed our breakfast in the shade of the mature chestnut trees.

(Bonus sneak-peak at Hanna’s new tattoo!)

I re-dyed my hair earlier this week, and am much pleased with the darker color this time around.

This afternoon, as the temperature climbs into the 90s, we’ll be chilling as much as possible in front of the fans, possibly even with an ice pack or two. Teazle seems to enjoy them too.

I could also do an entire independent post on the theme of Teazle Up On Things, including:

Teazle Up On the Roku

And

Teazle Up On the Fridge

Both of the cats visited the vet last Sunday and have been given a clean bill of health, though we’re currently medicating Geraldine’s right ear for a persistent infection — she doesn’t approve, obviously, but enjoys the cookies that come after.

Now I think it’s time to turn the computer off again and maybe watch some Fringe.

a third of the way through one hundred four books…

01 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in book reviews

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family, holidays

It’s May 1st today, which means we’re 1/3 of the way through 2013, and I should be 1/3 of the way through my reading goal of 104 books ….. oooh, not so much. According to GoodReads, I’m three books behind.
le sigh.
Still, I’d say this is a pretty accurate example of my taste in reading … 

Stay tuned this week for more Blankenhorn (tomorrow!) and some photos of spring here in Boston (Saturday!).

Also, P.S., it’s my parents’ 37th wedding anniversary today. According to Wikipedia, that puts them somewhere between coral and ruby on the anniversary gift metric. I wish them a good year to come and at least 36 more of happily married life!

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