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Tag Archives: hanna

professionally speaking

14 Thursday May 2015

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in library life

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hanna, history, librarians

45/365 #365feministselfie

Hanna and I had a meeting yesterday afternoon with Natalie Dykstra at which I snapped my Wednesday #365feministselfie (above). It was the penultimate planning meeting for the GLCA Boston Summer Seminar which we’ve been involved in proposing, planning and — soon! — putting into action this June. We’ve got three teams of researchers, three faculty members and six undergraduates, coming to Boston to spend some quality time in the archives. It’s been a lot of fun and rewarding to develop a program from scratch. I’ve learned a lot — and look forward to learning more over the next six weeks!

You’ll be able to follow us @GLCABOSTON, from which Hanna is going to be live-tweeting our five evening seminars and sharing other tidbits during the June 1-18 residency.

forward intentions: an introduction

04 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in life writing

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art, boston, domesticity, forward intentions, hanna, michigan, oregon, west coast

Reflections on local intentions in this eighth year of my Boston residency, and a long melancholy weekend at the end of summer, has pushed me to think about what my forward intentions actually are. Now that I’m done with grad school (*weeps with relief*), doing the whole “emerging professional” thing at a job a genuinely like, married with two cats, I’m like … so what’s next, life?

View from the Sylvia Beach Hotel (Newport, Ore.), 24 Sept 2013.

I never really had a plan, per se. I mean, I almost didn’t go to college? I was emotionally allergic to school and considered some sort of roguish apprenticeship instead. I wanted to run a writer’s colony in the U.P. (“upper peninsula” for you non-Michiganders), feed people and fix septic systems, maybe have a lot of time for hiking around with a compass in the back woods. Or maybe open a bookshop by the sea, with the writers tucked away upstairs in garret rooms overlooking the surf. Again: Tea, biscuits, quiet, thoughts, maybe a puppy and obviously cats.

Continue reading →

local intentions: year eight

01 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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boston, boston summer seminar, domesticity, family, hanna, librarians, professional gigs

Photograph of the hallway in our new Jamaica Plain apartment (May 2014)It’s become a tradition here at the feminist librarian for me to pause and take stock every year around Labor Day. It was on Labor Day weekend in 2007 that I first arrived in Boston, trunk packed with dorm room necessities, to begin a new chapter of my life as an East Coast urbanite.

read year one | year two | year three
year four | year five | year six | year seven

2014 has been a tough year for us, so far. As Hanna said back at the beginning of August, “I’ve decided to break up with 2014. We’re through.” Things started last fall with a positive but tiring whirlwind trip to the West Coast, out of which Hanna barely had time to recover before coming down with a pernicious case of pneumonia which required multiple courses of antibiotics and several weeks of bed rest. Then we began the new year with a Midwest polar vortex, then returned to Michigan in March to sit with my family during my grandmother’s deathtime. Hanna sprained her ankle the day after we got back to Boston, and while she was still on crutches we got the call to view what is now our apartment. We moved in May, then got the call that my grandfather had cancer. I’ve just come through the busiest summer on record at the MHS library and at this point we’re both looking forward to what we hope will be the most peaceful, boring autumn Jamaica Plain has ever seen.

At the same time, it feels good — more than good — to be looking forward to fall (my favorite season!) in Jamaica Plain, which in turn is here in Boston. We’re so pleased to be living here, in fact, that when we take our vacation in September we decided to stay put.

We’ve done a hell of a lot of traveling this year and it’s good to be home.

Which brings me to the point of this year’s post: local intentions. Continue reading →

unfinished thoughts about putting down roots

21 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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boston, domesticity, hanna, move2014

The Fens from Charlesgate, Boston
(December 2007)

As we lay the groundwork for locating and moving to a new apartment, and possibly a new neighborhood of Boston, later this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means for Hanna and I to be putting down roots in this city. We both moved here for graduate school and have stayed for the professional opportunities Boston’s cultural institutions have offered. Moving within the city — out of the apartment Hanna originally selected with her grad school roommate — feels like choosing or re-choosing the city as a place we want to live in, make a life in.

I find myself inhabiting the city with new eyes and new investment. I’m no longer thinking about it as a space I move through as an observer. Rather, I’ve become a participant. Although I’m still learning what it means to me to participate in the life of this city that has become our chosen home.

A short list of things I’ve (we’ve) been doing that feel like part of that learning process:

  • Walking, biking, taking public transit. Hanna and I are both committed to using the city “at ground level” if we’re going to be living in it. We map the neighborhoods by foot and measure our progress in coffee shops passed. While I don’t think owning a car precludes one from belonging to the city (clearly many drivers are Bostonians!) not having a car means we’re more reliant on public infrastructure within the core urban area, and that space and time get measured differently. By necessity, we need to shop for groceries, pick up our library books, visit our doctor’s office, meet up with friends, get our hair cut, all within a three-mile radius and ideally between point A (home) and point B (work). This is a fundamentally different way of experiencing the geography of one’s life than when life requires daily driving — I lived the first twenty-seven years of my life in a car-dependent town, so I’ve experienced this shift first-hand.
  • Supporting local non-profit organizations. It probably says something fundamental about our socioeconomic backgrounds that as soon as Hanna and I reached a sustainable level of income and could start thinking about charitable donations, the first thing we did was become members of our two local NPR/PBS networks (WGBH and WBUR). It was reflexive: this is what adults do. Yes, National Public Radio is a nationwide network, but each station is local too. We wake up to the local weather forecast and enjoy the broadcasts of America’s Test Kitchen (filmed in studios next door to one of our favorite coffee shops!). We currently give (tiny!) monthly gifts to WGBH, WBUR, and Classical New England, all of which broadcast out of the Boston metropolitan area. We’ve also chosen to provide ongoing support to Black Cat Rescue, our favorite no-kill foster cat program here in Massachusetts and the Greater Boston Food Bank. I’m also starting to get involved on a volunteer basis with our community health center, Fenway Health, which provides nationally-renowned health services to LGBT folks, women, at-risk teenagers, and the elderly of the Fenway neighborhood and greater Boston.
  • Relying on local non-profit organizations. There’s a lot of high-level philanthropy around Boston, including at the institution where I work, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the notion of “charitable giving” and the distance it implies between those who selflessly give to those in need. That kind of giving (hopefully with no strings attached) obviously has its place, but I also like the immediacy and intimacy of providing support for those whose services we need now, or in the future: our health center, our public library, the social safety net. I’ve been doing a lot of research lately into housing programs here in Boston, both grass-roots advocacy organizations and government-funded programming. In doing so, I’ve have the opportunity to reflect on the importance of using as well as passively supporting social services of various kinds. Even though Hanna and I are (at least temporarily) middle class professionals, it seems important to me to know how my city cares for the marginalized; how we could be cared for if we became marginalized.
  • Learning local history. When in doubt, turn to books! I’ve been reading, reading, reading up on the history of the Boston area and learning how its past has shaped our present and will continue to shape our future in the decades to come. 
What are the ways that you’ve gotten to know the place(s) where you (have) live(d)? What components need to be in place for you to feel like you belong to and are invested in a place, a community?

snowbound in michigan [an update with photos!]

05 Sunday Jan 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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hanna, michigan, outdoors, photos, travel

Since last Thursday’s post, our flights out of Michigan have been cancelled twice more due to weather, and now we’re scheduled to return to Boston Tuesday evening – closing in on a full week longer than we anticipated being away! 

We’re thankful to be safe and warm and not paying for hotels or on stand-by at the airport. It’s also wonderful to have parents/in-laws we get along with, a flexible cat-minder, and understanding co-workers.
This afternoon, following the third postponement of our departure, Hanna and I were feeling a little punch-drunk and decided to walk down to New Holland Brewery for lunch. I took the camera, so here are some pictures from my snowy home-town!

The obligatory couples’ portrait-taken-at-arm’s-length on the front lawn. The new knit hats from my mother-in-law have really come in handy!

Hanna bundled up outside the church on our block.

The wind and snow-blowers have combined to make intriguing drifts around the trees.

The iconic Dimnent chapel at my alma mater, in the snow.

The brewery, as one of the few gathering places open on a Sunday downtown, was hopping. The snow was very picturesque from inside the pub!

Hanna and I have been admiring the Christmas decorations on main street this year, which depart from the usual red-white-green spectrum.

There wasn’t enough traffic out and about to keep the snow off the roads. This is a view across the intersection of River and 10th, looking toward Centennial Park (dedicated in 1876).

The snow-melt network under the sidewalks was only keeping up with the snowfall under awnings, like here in front of the Park Theatre. No one had been out to brush off the public benches.

And this a view of the Holland Museum, where I got my start in public history twenty years ago. When I was a child, the museum was actually housed in what is now a B&B on the other side of the park, originally Holland’s first hospital. The building pictured here was our post office until the late 1980s, and now houses the museum and archives. 
When I was twelve I used to deliver the daily paper to a very sweet, elderly Dutch couple who lived in this house. I doubt they live there any longer, but Hanna and I both agree that its location directly across from the public library can only add to its charm.
Wish us felicitous weather for safe travels Tuesday afternoon as we are scheduled to fly home to Boston!

in the deep midwinter, looking forward

27 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in life writing

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domesticity, hanna, holidays, move2014

Our home for the past half-decade.

Last week I wrote a bit about how 2013 treated us. Today’s post is a look at what 2014 may have in store.

In many respects, we’re hoping for a continuation of the stability that has characterized life since last December. Neither of us plan to change jobs, start a new academic program, or pursue radically different activities from this year. We’ll still be very much married (in an ever-increasing number of states in this nation!) and look forward to only completing two instead of five tax returns this year. We very much hope for no health crises in 2014 and a continued baby-step-by-baby-step improvement to Hanna’s depression and anxiety.

At the same time, we do have a few things on the horizon, so here’s what’s on our plate (at varying levels of certainty) in the months to come:

Financial Planning. Exciting, right? I guess it’s a measure of my nerdiness that I actually do find this kind of paperwork and discussion stimulating. Now that Hanna and I are a couple of years out of graduate school and our income has more or less stabilized (*knock on wood*), and we’ve got things to think about like 401(k) contributions and renting vs. owning our living space, we decided it was time to meet with a financial planner. We’ll be doing the consultation in early January, and I’m hoping she’ll be encouraging and clarifying, with perhaps some refinements but no real curve balls (unless they’re the good one — I’ll take good ones!)

Maybe Moving. As I believe I’ve detailed here before, we had a household meltdown earlier in the year that resulted in a mutual decision that it was really, honestly, absolutely, we’ve-waited-too-long time to look for a new living space. This little one-bedroom has served us incredibly well, and I will recommend our management company to anyone who asks — but we’re outgrowing what was initially rented by Hanna in 2006 as a graduate-student space, shared with a roommate. We want a bigger kitchen, more-efficiently-arranged common spaces, maybe a guest bedroom/office, and a mud room where the cats’ litter box can live. We’re ready to be in a neighborhood that isn’t dominated by students. We’ll be looking at both renting and buying (see “financial planning” above), although my suspicion is that we’re not at the buying point yet.

motive Project. For the past half-year I’ve been poking around at the intersection of queer history, history of American Christianity, and history of education with a project on the Methodist Student Movement’s motive magazine during the 1960s. I had a paper proposal accepted for Boston College’s biennial on history of religion, taking place in March, so during January and February will be working intensively on the paper. I’ll be doing a close reading of motive from 1963-1972 and thinking about how gender and sexuality are explicitly and implicitly presented within its pages. This is one small slice of a larger project that I hope will shed light on how and why left-leaning, mainline-evangelical Protestant Christians struggled with the question of homosexuality during the mid twentieth century.

Cats. Geraldine and Teazle will continue with their regime of napping, wrestling, climbing, napping some more, and demanding tuna. We also hope that, once we move into a slightly larger place, we will be able to offer our services fostering cats for our favorite local shelter, Black Cat Rescue, the group that brought us Geraldine.

Fenway Health’s Community Advisory Board. I’ve recently applied to join the community advisory board of our awesome community health center, Fenway Health. If the current membership accepts me, I’ll be serving a three-year term as part of the team of patients who support and consult with the staff on programs and services. I’m excited about this possible opportunity to give back to, and participate in, an organization that has been so good to us.

Travel? The past years have been intense travel years for us, and we learned a lot about how we do (and don’t) like to organize our traveling experiences. We’ve talked about renewing our passports this spring and planning an end-of-2014 expedition to England, but the feasibility of that will depend in some measure on how the moving project falls in place. If we don’t go to England, we’re hoping to take a just-for-us week somewhere quiet (Cape Cod maybe), during the off season, to relax and recoup.

Long-form Blogging? The words haven’t been coming easily the last six months for me; I’m not sure why. I certainly haven’t stopped having the thoughts I used to share through blog posts, or reading the books I used to review in-depth. Part of it is sheer time. Part of it has been a need to limit the amount of time I spend on the computer when not at work. Part of it has been a lower feeling of urgency when it comes to voicing my particular perspective on issues on the internet (I certainly still share my thoughts in private correspondence and conversation). I am hopeful this is just an inward-looking time that will grow into a slightly new kind of online presence. I’m just not sure what that will look like yet.

In the meantime, you’ll be getting more cat pictures and short-form book reviews! I hope you enjoy both.

Less anxiety, fear, and exhaustion. Hanna’s struggled a lot this year with overwhelming feels of the nebulous, negative variety, and we’d like to see less of that as time goes on. It’s no fun.

I look forward to following all of your own 2014 ups, downs, and in-betweens in the twelve months to come. It’s a pleasure to be here, and elsewhere, with all of you.

a year to carry on carrying on

20 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in our family

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cat blogging, domesticity, hanna, holidays, photos

Gerry practices her balancing skillz on Hanna’s lap.
Looking back on the past year with my therapist on Thursday, I realized that this is the first year in over a decade (for both Hanna and I) in which no major life-transitions have taken place.
Neither one of us began or ended a relationship (yay 1st anniversary!).
Neither one of us began or ended a job (or moved to a different position within our workplace).
Neither one of us began or ended an academic program.
We began and ended the year in the same city, neighborhood, and apartment.
We began and ended the year with the same two companion animals.
With the exception of my grandmother, Marilyn, in June, we had no major illness or death on either side of our immediate extended family.
Cats, they give no fucks for your life accomplishments.
Of course, many other things did change in the past year. The Defense of Marriage Act was ruled unconstitutional. We got new tattoos. We witnessed the wedding of our near and dear friends Diana and Collin. Hanna delivered a conference paper at the Northeast Conference on British Studies. I briefly served as a guest blogger for Family Scholars Blog. Teazle learned to scale the drying rack; Gerry learned to be a lap cat.

But overall, this was the most uneventful year I have had since turning eighteen.

And I can’t say I’m disappointed with that.

on being out day [a belated post]

13 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in life writing

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being the change, gender and sexuality, hanna

This Friday, October 11th, was International Coming Out Day.

I thought, in passing, about writing something but I was distracted by trying to get things done at work and by the fact my wife was getting a chest x-ray for pneumonia. And then picking up antibiotics (thank goddess for antibiotics) for her. And remembering to feed the cats. And pick up something for dinner.

Hanna in the redwoods (Sept. 2013)

So this is a belated post on the theme of coming/being out. I don’t have anything particularly original to say, except that I am grateful to all of the people throughout history, past and present, who have conspired to make International Coming Out Day an unremarkable occasion in our day lives. Hanna and I live in a time and place where our bisexual inclinations and same-sex relationship are known and largely honored structurally in our workplaces, with our landlord, at our health center, in our city, state (and now, finally, the federal government), by our friends and relations. We hold hands and kiss in public, speak of things sexual while dining out, review queer porn, blog about being dykes.

We don’t fear being evicted, fired, blacklisted, jailed, physically attacked, disowned or disinherited, treated as sick because of our sexual selves, or otherwise grossly discriminated against. And if any of these things were top happen to us, we would have advocacy organizations and a network of supporters to turn to for aid.

In many ways, our security is exceptional: many queer folks still live in the toxic closet, or cover aspects of their identities, for fear of social and material marginalization. The young and the old, the gender non-confirming, trans folks, queer people in nations that still actively persecute sexual minorities.

There is obviously still work to be done.

But this week, I’m grateful in my own small domestic way for the work of activists and the kindness of those people in our lives who together made it possible for my Friday to be, in part, a story about leaving work half an hour early so I could get to the pharmacy and pick up Hanna’s antibiotics. A story about a boss and colleagues who sent well-wishes for Hanna’s quick recovery. A story about a health clinic that knows were a couple and has no problem letting me pick up her medications.

A story about going home to my wife.

six years ago today [obligatory Boston anniversary post]

29 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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boston, family, hanna, MHS, simmons

Simmons College Library, September 2007
self-portrait

Six years ago today, I arrived in Boston a bright-eyed youth of twenty-six, with a rental car full of worldly belongings and paperwork confirming my enrollment in Simmons’ dual-degree history/archives program.

Within a week of this self-portrait taken at the Simmons library, I had met my future wife, within a month I had remembered why I loved history and hated school, and within the first semester I’d resigned my position as a bookseller at Barnes & Noble to work as a library assistant at the Massachusetts Historical Society.

Arnold Arboretum, May 2013
photograph by Joseph Tychonievich

The world is so often an unexpected and adventuresome place.

Update: For the interested, here are my posts from 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, and 2012.

death-of-doma-day tattoos! [photo post]

09 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in life writing

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art, family, hanna, photos

As previously mentioned, Hanna and I had a date with our new tattoo artist — Thomas Gustainis — on the afternoon of the day the Supreme Court released its opinions in Windsor and Perry. Which means that one part of the multi-faceted meaning of these tattoos, at least for me, will be entwined with memories of the day DOMA fell.

The color on Hanna’s lotus is as vibrant as the most brilliant Michigan autumn.

And I couldn’t be happier with my juniper branch, even if the placement means I only really get to see it in photography like this!

The day after I had the work done, a volunteer at the Massachusetts Historical Society asked me, with slight alarm (though also no small measure of admiration) if I ever thought about what I would think of my ink when I was her age, in my 70s.

Yes, I said. Because I have.

But I wasn’t sure how to explain to her, from there, that to me the tattoos on my skin are like scars or freckles or laugh lines. Yes, they’re voluntary. Yet over time they become, literally, a part of my embodied self. They will grow old with me, and change meaning and character as they (we) do.

This is my body now, I say to myself, when I look in the mirror every day. My physical self is a running, changing record of my life in this world. And the ink is, indelibly now, a part of that record.

Maybe it’s my historian-self that has learned to embrace such traces in the skin.

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"the past is a wild party; check your preconceptions at the door." ~ Emma Donoghue

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