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Tag Archives: michigan

forward intentions: an introduction

04 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in life writing

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art, boston, domesticity, forward intentions, hanna, michigan, oregon, west coast

Reflections on local intentions in this eighth year of my Boston residency, and a long melancholy weekend at the end of summer, has pushed me to think about what my forward intentions actually are. Now that I’m done with grad school (*weeps with relief*), doing the whole “emerging professional” thing at a job a genuinely like, married with two cats, I’m like … so what’s next, life?

View from the Sylvia Beach Hotel (Newport, Ore.), 24 Sept 2013.

I never really had a plan, per se. I mean, I almost didn’t go to college? I was emotionally allergic to school and considered some sort of roguish apprenticeship instead. I wanted to run a writer’s colony in the U.P. (“upper peninsula” for you non-Michiganders), feed people and fix septic systems, maybe have a lot of time for hiking around with a compass in the back woods. Or maybe open a bookshop by the sea, with the writers tucked away upstairs in garret rooms overlooking the surf. Again: Tea, biscuits, quiet, thoughts, maybe a puppy and obviously cats.

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michigan monday: stuff & things

24 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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children, gender and sexuality, marriage equality, michigan, music, travel, web video

I’m not gonna even pretend Hanna and I are fully back in Boston headspace, although we arrived back home mid-afternoon on Saturday. It’s been a pretty intense ten days (two weeks if you count from the day my grandmother had her initial stroke).
So instead of any substantive post, here are a few Michigan-related things for you. Starting with the Detroit symphony orchestra’s flash mob performance of “Ode to Joy” at a suburban IKEA. (via)
You may have heard NPR’s coverage of the event on March 9th.
On a related note, the city of Detroit is offering free houses to writers looking for a place to live and be creative. I admit that part of me wishes that librarianship & archival science were slightly more mobile professions, since it would be really exciting to be part of a rejuvenation project like that — and the urban core of Detroit has some amazing, historic spaces.
Within driving distance of Brewed Awakenings, this trip’s coffee shop find.
And half a day’s drive from Gaia Cafe in Grand Rapids, the visual-sensory display in my head whenever anyone uses the word “granola” as a cultural descriptor.
Plus, soon enough Hanna and I would actually be married-married there. Instead of Massachusetts-and-federally-married there.
In fact, Hanna and I heard the news about Judge Friedman’s ruling overturning the Michigan ban on marriage equality while we were driving through New York (oh, the endless endless miles of I-90) on Friday. Huzzah!
I read the DeBoer v. Snyder decision yesterday afternoon. Some of my livetweets:

“Michigan does not make fertility or the desire to have children a prerequisite for obtaining a marriage license.” http://t.co/wupembjXd8
— feministlibrarian (@feministlib) March 22, 2014

“The Court finds Regnerus’s testimony entirely unbelievable and not worthy of serious consideration.” #DeBoer #ssm http://t.co/shaDdgPsvp
— feministlibrarian (@feministlib) March 22, 2014

really hope the #DeBoer ruling ends Regnerus’ days as an “expert” witness on families headed by same-sex partnerships. #ssm #shoddyscience
— feministlibrarian (@feministlib) March 22, 2014

also love how Judge Friedman puts “study” in scare quotes when talking about the Regernus testimony. #DeBoer #ssm
— feministlibrarian (@feministlib) March 22, 2014

“Defendants argued that…heterosexual married couples provide the optimal environment for…children. The Court rejects this rationale.”
— feministlibrarian (@feministlib) March 22, 2014

Friedman makes point we don’t legally exclude “sub-optimal” straight couples from parenting based on group status. http://t.co/PB2lQ7Pjd8
— feministlibrarian (@feministlib) March 22, 2014

“While the justices recognized the state’s expansive power in the realm of domestic relations, they also noted…this power has its limits.”
— feministlibrarian (@feministlib) March 22, 2014

Judge Friedman also turned up the snark to full volume by pointing out, in a quote too long to excerpt on Twitter, that:

Taking the state defendants’ position to its logical conclusion, the empirical evidence at hand should require that only rich, educated, suburban-dwelling, married Asians may marry, to the exclusion of all other heterosexual couples. Obviously the state has not adopted this policy and with good reason. The absurdity of such a requirement is self-evident. Optimal academic outcomes for children cannot logically dictate which groups may marry.

As of this writing, Michigan marriage licenses for same-sex couples are on hold until further review, but it’s worth noting that Friedman himself didn’t issue the stay — I think it’s pretty clear he’s had enough of these anti-gay shenanigans.

And finally, for anyone who missed it on Twitter and Facebook, my father wrote a lovely obituary for my grandmother (his mom) which appeared in the local paper this past Wednesday.

jean cook, in memorium

20 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in our family

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michigan

My grandmother’s funeral is today, and of course what can you possibly say about a person who — until late Monday afternoon — has always been a part of the world while you were alive within it? The earliest memory I have that can be attached to a specific period in time is of staying with Grandma Cook while my mother was in labor for the birth of my brother, Brian. I was just shy of three years old. 

So there are any number of stories I could tell about my growing up in relationship to her, grandmother and granddaughter, two people who didn’t always agree. The story I want to share today, though, is one that can be told in her own words. For, like a good historian and archivist, I saved the document (in an archival box!) and was able to locate it on Friday as Hanna and I were packing to leave on this journey.

This is the letter my grandmother wrote me when she learned that Hanna and I were together as a couple — the event that was, for most people in my life, my coming out moment as a person with bisexual desires. Reading it over, my political-critical self notices limitations, but I will refrain in the here and now from pointing them out. What I hope comes through in this very human document is its author’s overwhelming impulse to “only connect.”

 9 Nov. 2009
Dear Anna, 
It was so very nice to see you on your visit home. I know there were many people to see in your short time. Also, perhaps you caught up on a little needed rest. That is what ‘coming home’ is all about once you have left.
On Sat. evening your Mom and Dad shared with me your loving relationship with Hannah [sic]. There are just a few things I want to share with and about you.
First of all, Anna, there is no more beautiful relationship in life than when two people fall in love. I am so happy that you have found that love. Your grandfather believed firmly that relationship is the most important aspect in life. It sometimes means putting aside your morality code or other norms society has established for itself.
Anna, you have always been a person who has challenged some of life’s “norms.” No doubt sometimes it was just a reaction but perhaps other times with thoughtful research and decision making. To not live in denial of your sexual orientation has been an admirable step in knowing just who you are. You come from a family that has always known inclusiveness in whatever form it make take. Know that you are surrounded with love and acceptance for all that you are and will still become.
I don’t know what your relationship with God is – that is between you and God. However, I truly believe that at times God does choose certain individuals to [bear crosses?] in our society — whether it be for peace and justice, sexual discrimination or whatever the societal cause may be. You have shown such strength in accepting the recognition of who and what you are that I know you will be a [wholesome?] advocate of others less confident than yourself.
Remember always that behind you is a loving, supportive family. We trust that your relationship with Hannah will fill the deep love in your heart.
Your grandmother who loves you always

the season of the dying grandmothers

16 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in our family

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michigan, travel

moon + venus. norridgewock, maine.

Hanna and I are back in Michigan.

My grandmother had a stroke on Tuesday afternoon and at first they thought it was minor, but internal bleeding developed at the hospital and she slipped into a coma on Tuesday night. My family was able to bring her home Wednesday evening, so that she can die in the home she and my grandfather shared during the majority of their marriage, until his death in 2007. It is a space that has been the hub in the wheel of the paternal side of my family for my entire life.

As I type this, I am sitting next to her bed in the living room. All the children and grandchildren and their spouses have gathered, along with a few close friends,  and my grandmother’s golden retriever who circles around everyone, keeping track.

It is cold here, with ice still on the lake that we can see out the front windows. Snow banks are deep alongside the steep drive that leads from the road to my grandmother’s house, which stands on a small rise. Out behind the house is a once-landscaped gulch with a creek running through it that, in the spring, will become carpeted with daffodils.

We are entangled with our own watchful waiting right now, but I know others among you are also wrestling with life transitions and trauma. My thoughts are also with all of you, whatever your life-changes and stressors may be.

It is good to be here, and I am grateful to all of those in my life who made it possible for Hanna and I to travel on such short notice. Thank you all.

blizzard of ’14: black river books [photo post]

10 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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books, michigan, photos, travel

Yesterday, in an attempt to re-boot the vacation we’re inadvertently having, Hanna and I took a small road-trip to South Haven, Michigan, to visit a bookshop Hanna found via the Internets.

Black River Books was well-worth the thirty-minute drive down I-196. Our outbound trip was punctuated by a stop at Uncommon Grounds, where we refueled with two French Giana lattes. 
We paused at the cafe’s community bulletin board to wistfully gaze at the “for rent” advertisement featuring a three-bedroom house on offer for less than what we pay per month for our one-bedroom in Allston.
South Haven was quiet, still digging out from the beginning of the week.
Sidewalks clearly weren’t a top priority.
Hanna and I were the only two customers at the bookstore, which made for leisurely browsing. The shop was clearly set up as a sit-and-read business, complete with coffee urns and comfy chairs.
Like all used bookshops worth their salt, Black River Books had stacks of overflow (neatly labeled!) on the floor and steps-stools for easy book access.
They also had two shop dogs, who snuffled us out upon entry and then curled up in their appointed locations by the shop counter, waiting for snack time.
I have to say that only in West Michigan are you likely to find a religion section subdivided by Christian theologian (and “Jesus” shelves alongside [Philip] Yancey and Matthew Fox).
Though to their credit they also had extensive LGBT and Sexuality sections, as well as separately-shelved erotica, clearly labelled and tucked away above the paperback mysteries.
In the Sexuality section, I was delighted to find a 1972, hardcover and full-color edition of Alex Comfort’s The Joy of Sex for which a review post will simply have to be forthcoming. Its loving sketchy drawings of the heterosexual couple enjoying intimacies of various configurations are as delightful as Dr. Comfort’s opinions about things such as bisexuality are antiquated.
In any event, if you ever find yourself stuck in West Michigan for ten days longer than you anticipated in the middle of a snow storm, Black River Books is definitely a place we would recommend for a field trip!

blizzard of ’14, day six [an update, with photos]

08 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

family, michigan, photos, travel

Today, our flights were re-scheduled for the fifth time in a week — pushing us out to ten additional days in Michigan! It’s wicked wild (as a Bostonian might say) how far the ripple-effect of cancelled flights and serial bad weather can reach.

So it’s time for more self-soothing photography!

Playing with reflections on the dining room windows a couple of nights ago brought out some interesting visuals.

The family Christmas tree, mirrored in the glass against the falling snow.

A neighbor’s out-door lights as seen across the church parking lot, drifted with snow.

The “brisk” temperatures of the Polar Votex brought in some gorgeous frost on my parents’ windowpanes. This was yesterday’s patterning on our bedroom window.

This morning, a strange globe of light appeared in the sky for a short portion of the morning. We took the opportunity to go out on a few needed errands: emergency prescription refills at Model Drug pharmacy, emergency coffee at lemonjello’s, emergency trip to Herrick District Library for books.

Shoveling has become a bit daunting.

We’ve been so grateful for lemonjello’s caffeination and gluten-free muffins!

The fierce wind and cold temperatures have conspired to create some fascinating snow sculptures along the eves of many buildings.

When I got off the phone with United this afternoon, first I spent a few moments pounding my fists on the floor in frustration. Then Hanna and I decided an emergency trip to the library was in order.

Because where do two snowbound librarians find peace, except in the stacks?

I like the way the children’s room decorates …

… and, perhaps more importantly, attends to the nutritional needs of its young readers!

On our walk home, Hanna snapped a few wintery pictures as the snow, once again, began to fall.

This has been another update from the Clutterbuck-Cook family adventure of January 2014! We hope all of you continue to be well.

blizzard of ’14 [more photos]

07 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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michigan, outdoors, photos, travel

Today was a slump-y sort of day. We woke up to yet another round of emails announcing the cancellation of our flights home (scheduled for tomorrow) and no further updates re: when we might actually be able to head Eastward.

(my digital camera somehow did this, and I have no idea how!)

It’s not that we’re in a bad situation — we’re warm and fed, and have a stellar group of friends and colleagues holding down the fort in Boston — but it’s hard, harder than I would have anticipated beforehand, to adjust to repeated new plans. Just as we adjust to plan B it’s snatched out from under us and replaced with plan C, which in turn … you get the idea.

Hardly the worst thing that’s happened in the world since New Year’s, but kind of draining.

And we miss our kitties.

(We’ve been here long enough now that Toby will grudgingly share the blankets…)

So I tried to soothe my grumpy soul by taking photos of some spectacular snow, more snow and colder temperatures than my parents have seen since the late 1970s.

Hope College, where I did my undergrad and where my father works, has delayed the start of classes for (if I recall correctly) only the third time in the past quarter century.

This has been a self-soothing update from the Clutterbuck-Cook expedition of January 2014. I hope that wherever you are tonight, you are warm and well and with those you love.

snowbound in michigan [an update with photos!]

05 Sunday Jan 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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hanna, michigan, outdoors, photos, travel

Since last Thursday’s post, our flights out of Michigan have been cancelled twice more due to weather, and now we’re scheduled to return to Boston Tuesday evening – closing in on a full week longer than we anticipated being away! 

We’re thankful to be safe and warm and not paying for hotels or on stand-by at the airport. It’s also wonderful to have parents/in-laws we get along with, a flexible cat-minder, and understanding co-workers.
This afternoon, following the third postponement of our departure, Hanna and I were feeling a little punch-drunk and decided to walk down to New Holland Brewery for lunch. I took the camera, so here are some pictures from my snowy home-town!

The obligatory couples’ portrait-taken-at-arm’s-length on the front lawn. The new knit hats from my mother-in-law have really come in handy!

Hanna bundled up outside the church on our block.

The wind and snow-blowers have combined to make intriguing drifts around the trees.

The iconic Dimnent chapel at my alma mater, in the snow.

The brewery, as one of the few gathering places open on a Sunday downtown, was hopping. The snow was very picturesque from inside the pub!

Hanna and I have been admiring the Christmas decorations on main street this year, which depart from the usual red-white-green spectrum.

There wasn’t enough traffic out and about to keep the snow off the roads. This is a view across the intersection of River and 10th, looking toward Centennial Park (dedicated in 1876).

The snow-melt network under the sidewalks was only keeping up with the snowfall under awnings, like here in front of the Park Theatre. No one had been out to brush off the public benches.

And this a view of the Holland Museum, where I got my start in public history twenty years ago. When I was a child, the museum was actually housed in what is now a B&B on the other side of the park, originally Holland’s first hospital. The building pictured here was our post office until the late 1980s, and now houses the museum and archives. 
When I was twelve I used to deliver the daily paper to a very sweet, elderly Dutch couple who lived in this house. I doubt they live there any longer, but Hanna and I both agree that its location directly across from the public library can only add to its charm.
Wish us felicitous weather for safe travels Tuesday afternoon as we are scheduled to fly home to Boston!

eclectic thoughts from a visit to my childhood home

02 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in a sense of place

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boston, domesticity, family, michigan, move2014

My childhood home in Holland, Mich. (December 2013)

As this post goes live, Hanna and I will be  landing in Boston and making our way back to our current home in Allston, after having spent a week enjoying our last day with my parents in Michigan, after a United flight cancellation prolonged our stay for an extra twenty-four hours. My parents still live in the 1891 farmhouse in central Holland (a block from the public library, natch) that they purchased as a fixer-upper in 1976 and in which I grew up. It’s a home, neighborhood, and even city that I still hold a lot of respect and affection for.

So. Eclectic observations from our eight-day stay:

  • It was funny to re-adjust to a Christian week (Sunday as the day of rest) rather than secular (seven-day) and Jewish (Saturday closure) week model, which is the model in our area of Boston/Brookline. Not that Holland observes Sunday closures as rigorously as they used to when my dad was a kid, or even when I was young, but you still have to check hours before going out.
  • Everything feels so much more spacious and open here, now, with my sense accustomed to urban density. I love the wide sidewalks and set-back homes, the green spaces and big trees. These objectively have their downsides, environmental cost among them, but I also can’t stop my body from relaxing into the familiarity of room and breathing more expansively while I am here. I hold that tension in my awareness.
  • Hanna and I both miss the range of coffee shops and specialty food options here relative to Boston; you grow so used to being able to select this from shop A and that from shop B. Still, there’s something restful about going to lemonjello’s and seeing all the comfortable regulars.
  • It’s amazing how much muscle memory I have. I don’t have to think about driving directions or traffic signals most of the time. And it’s so much less stressful to not have to think about how to get from A to B, not to have to plan hour-plus windows of time to get virtually anywhere, and not to have to strategize about how to carry things (because one has the boot of a car to schlep in). 
  • It’s weird to see stuff I left behind when I moved in 2007 more or less in the same location as where I left it six years ago, albeit with shoals of other familial objects stacked up around them. My brother, sister, and all still have things semi-stored here and it’s this weird combination of echoes of occupied rooms, arranged as they were, and then stuff from various college dorm rooms and other temporary accommodations silted in. 
  • I realize when I walk around town that I’m picturing people living in homes they lived in ten years ago, when in reality at least a good third of occupants have changed up. Still, my mind-pictures go back to when I was eleven and delivering newspapers or twenty-one and house-sitting for professors.
  • The out-of-doors feels much more quiet here (fewer people, more space) while the indoors feels noisier, in mostly a good way, as family and friends come and go.
  • It’s always hard to see everyone — even the short list! — I want to see and catch up with in a week. I’m sorry to everyone around whom I seemed fatigued, and thank Goddess we can all stay in touch via Twitter and Facebook between visits. I know social media is everyone’s object of hate du jour these days, but I still feel grateful for the way it connects me to loved ones across vast geographic distances.
  • My parents have mostly had a one-income marriage, and my dad doesn’t make much more than Hanna and I do combined. I appreciate the many reasons that couples are encouraged away from the one-career model, but I also appreciate the way a one-income household can actually stay sane in ways a two-earner household cannot. My mom and Hanna’s dad (the homemaker parent in her family) do a lot of quality work in terms of home upkeep and repair, meals, maintaining friends and family relationships, and, in earlier days, childcare. Hanna and I basically have to abandon or outsource a lot of things like food preparation and home maintenance during the workweek and I’m aware of the way in which this makes our life together more expensive and rushed than either of us like. Something for us to remain mindful of in the coming decade as we make decisions about where we live and how we work.
  • I don’t miss having/driving a car as much as I used to, when I first moved to Boston. Still, there is something free-ing about being able to get in the car and run to the store in five minutes rather than the same errand taking forty-five minutes in the city. I read Triumph of the City by Edward Glaeser on the flight from Boston last week, and one of his points about urban life is that those encouraging city living need to solve the time-in-transit dilemma, because most people will opt for a fifteen minute drive over ninety minutes of multi-modal travel (foot, bus, subway) — because we all want/need more time in our day. (Some of his other points were sketchier, but I agree with this one.)
  • I don’t experience the same frustrating regression many of my peers seem to when staying with their parents, in that I don’t feel my adult, married-life self is jeopardized or erased or eclipsed by a younger self. Part of this might be because I spent my mid-twenties in and out of my childhood home, and thus established new footing for my relationship with my parents. I also have parents who are awesomely willing and able to know me as an adult person. I wonder as more and more young people share homes with their parents for economic reasons if we will see cultural narratives around parent-child relationships change in any significant way.
  • I concentrate better in my parents’ home than I do in Boston. Part of it is, of course, the false comparison of being-on-vacation vs. regular-work-schedule life, but it is also a function of the home-space my parents have provided, one which encourages both togetherness and seclusion, the ability to be alone-while-together, to focus on a book without other competing demands. A small apartment in a crowded urban environment (to some extent necessarily) makes for more distraction. A crowded physical space makes for a crowded mental one, at least for me, and that takes its toll. I don’t think we talk enough about this when we discuss urban density and the need to protect peoples’ quality of life even while working to increase affordability and environmental sustainability.
Anyway. Nothing earth-shattering, but all more food for thought as Hanna and I look toward what sort of space we want to find/create for ourselves in the coming year(s). 

it’s not just about marriage law

16 Saturday Mar 2013

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in think pieces

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children, family scholars blog, gender and sexuality, michigan

cross-posted from the family scholars blog.


April DeBoer (second from left) sits with her adopted daughter Ryanne, 3,
and Jayne Rowse and her adopted sons Jacob, 3, and Nolan, 4,
at their home in Hazel Park, Mich., on Tuesday.

We’ve been talking a lot lately, at the Family Scholars Blog, about the upcoming DOMA/Prop 8 cases before the Supreme Court and debating the cases for and against marriage equality. Sometimes “gay marriage” can seem like the only or most important issue for LGBT folks. In fact, many of us have had the experience of talking with someone who assumes that once gay marriage is legal then anti-gay prejudice and marginalization will — poof! — be a thing of the past. We’ll be able to put down our “activist” hats and embrace our mainstream status.

But the marginalization of LGBT individuals and families goes a lot deeper than marriage law. One such example comes from my home state of Michigan, which has some of the most restrictive laws in the nation regarding recognition of same-sex relationships — including a ban on same-sex partners adopting together. While heterosexual couples and single people are welcomed as prospective adoptive parents, gay and lesbian couples are explicitly denied the ability to provide their children with two legal parents.

 A lesbian couple who are parenting three adopted children have sued the state for the right to co-adopt. From the NPR story on their case:

As foster parents, Rowse and DeBoer shared legal guardianship of Jacob. When they decided to adopt the boy, they faced the same decision they’d faced with the two other children: which of them would be the legal parent. They chose Rowse, who is also Nolan’s legal mother. That meant DeBoer actually lost legal rights she had as a foster parent.

“I lose the right to make medical decisions for my boys,” DeBoer says. “I can’t enroll my boys in school. I am on an emergency card at school — I am listed as just an emergency contact person. I am not a parent. I am nothing.”

You can read the whole story over at NPR.

There have been a number of people at the Family Scholars Blog who have expressed varying degrees of concern about the sanctioning of same-sex relationships through marriage because they feel this legitimizes gay and lesbian parents as procreative partners in some way.

What I think gets lost in such abstract discussions — about same-sex couples somehow, in future, creating new life together — is the fact that LGBT parents are already parenting without the full legal recognition that, in hundreds of little ways, ties parents to their children and ensures kids will have their parents or guardians present for them — advocating and decision-making as necessary — throughout their childhood. Statistically speaking, LGBT parents are also generally caring for their own biological children or adopting children who would otherwise spend their lives in the foster system. Parents (straight, gay, lesbian, or otherwise) who have used assisted reproductive strategies, too, are parenting children who — regardless of their origins — deserve the security of knowing they will have access to their parent-carers when they need them.

The argument that legalizing same-sex marriage gives social approval to all manner of assisted reproductive practices glosses over the fact that by supporting restrictive adoption laws, marriage laws, and other legal restrictions on the recognition of same-sex families, those who oppose recognition of same-sex relationships  are actively marginalizing existing children and their parents.  You aren’t stopping future families from being created; people of all sexual orientations have, and will continue, to create families irrespective of the law. Instead, you’re stopping already-established families from accessing the full range of social supports that, as a nation, we’ve decided interdependent couples and parents with dependent children need to thrive.

Maybe your concerns regarding reproductive ethics are strong enough that such a cost is worth it to you. But I don’t think it’s honest or responsible to simply ignore the human cost of such discriminatory practices.

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