I spent some of yesterday hanging art on our walls (finally!) including the framed tattoo concept drawings my father did for our wedding tattoos, and my sister-in-law Renee’s two landscapes — one painted in honor of her marriage to my brother (9/9) and one in honor of our marriage (9/14). We’ve hung them in a triptych on the bedroom wall (pictured above); they face this housewarming gift from my parents, who obviously know their daughter and daughter-in-law well: Continue reading
In the months before we got married, Hanna and I decided we were going to combine our middle names upon marriage:
- Elisabeth + Jane = Elisabethjane
- Anna E. J. Cook?
- Anna J. Clutterbuck-Cook?
- Anna E. Clutterbuck-Cook?
- Anna E. Cook?
- Hanna and Anna Cook-Clutterbuck
- Anna and Hanna Clutterbuck-Cook
I’ve been critical of my alma mater, Hope College, here on this blog in the past — particularly when it comes to the institutional refusal to affirm the queer faculty and students on its campus. I stand firm on my pledge not to support the college financially until such time as its anti-gay policy changes.
However, I do also believe in giving shout-outs to those at the college who aren’t letting the official policy stand in the way of affirming the humanity and equality of those of us in the Hope College diaspora who happen to be queer.
In that spirit …
When Hanna and I sent out our wedding announcements in late September, I sent one to the Hope College alumni office; friends and family members were betting on whether or not the announcement would run in the alumni magazine’s list of news from graduates (births, deaths, marriages, advanced degrees, and so forth) that fill the back of each issue.
They had about even odds for and against running the notice at all.
But I got the latest issue of News From Hope College this weekend and there we were on page 27.
Of course, as there is a “Marriages” section of the News, the announcement would have more appropriately gone there since, you know, we got married.
But I imagine someone had to fight to put our “union” in the magazine at all, and I’m all for recognizing baby steps when they’re taken in the right direction.
So thank you, Hope College alumni office — you exceeded my fairly jaded expectations. You’re not going to single-handedly woo me back into the fold, but I do appreciate the acknowledgement that Hope alumni are here (and queer) right in the pages of the News from Hope.
On our one-week anniversary — and our last full day on Cape Cod — we decided to drive out to the very tip of the Cape and pay a visit to Provincetown.
On Thursday of our honeymoon week, we were going to stay in — but the weather was so beautiful that we ended up driving about half an hour to the seaside town of Chatham, southwest of the cottage where we were staying. From the center of town we walked out to the public beach.
The tide was coming in and the waves were beautiful.
I would love, someday, to be able to live within hearing distance of the surf.
It’s perhaps a mark of too much exposure to bohemian literature that the fantasy of living out our retirement as a couple of dykes (and a bevy of cats) on a wind-swept coast would be a fine thing.
Or perhaps it’s just the Michigander in me.
Stay tuned for our one-week anniversary trip to Provincetown!
After spending Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday in the lower Cape, we decided to explore the upper Cape the latter half of our week. We started in Wellfleet, which promised us a bookshop to browse in and beaches to stroll on.
It’s surprisingly difficult to get to the shore from here in Boston, particularly since we don’t own a car. So it was a treat to walk on some actual sand again (something I used to do almost weekly back in Michigan).
I basically wanted to relocate to every cottage we passed on the Cape, particularly the weather beaten ones.
Walking along the boardwalk at the marina, we were tickled to see this boat (named in reference to the X-Files perhaps?). And along the main street in town we saw this plaque, which made us wonder whether John and Rodney had decided to relocate from Nantucket.
Along the main drag, we also saw this beautiful church doorway.
One of the potters was at work in the studio working on a series of amphoras to be given as awards for a local sports hall of fame. Here, you can see runners and bikers on the unfinished pieces (yes, the figures have tiny dicks):
We ended up splurging a little on two plates — not the official wedding plates Kemp Pottery makes, but which we think of as our wedding plates all the same.
When we got home after our honeymoon, we had our last two pieces of wedding cake (delicious chocolate cake given to us by my colleagues at the MHS) on our new wedding plates.
Up next … another afternoon of beach walking in Chatham …
Hanna and I were in Montreal this weekend, at the North American Conference on British Studies. Well, Hanna was at the conference and I went along as the spouse. I spent the hours Hanna was in session writing an epic piece of fan fiction I’m working on (yes, this is what I do on vacation) and the hours she was free we spent wandering around the city. I’d never been to Montreal, and do hope to return there at some point when we have more free time (and more hours of daylight!).
But what I actually want to write about today is less our visit to Montreal and more the fact that taking this international trip together so soon after the election, with marriage equality and gay rights all over the news, made me acutely aware of the fact that our marriage is still second-class when it comes to legal recognition. We’re married in the state of Massachusetts, and treated as such within its borders (for example, when I picked up the rental car at the Enterprise office they told me kindly I no longer needed to present Hanna’s license in order to add her as an authorized driver; spouses are automatically covered). But it’s actually just good luck that driving through Massachusetts, Vermont, and into Quebec, that we remained, for our entire trip, on soil where our marriage is valid.
|Post-election marriage equality map;
click through to Sociological Images for high-res version
While this wasn’t of immediate material concern to us, crossing the U.S. – Canadian border, the U.S. border patrol considers us two individual unrelated citizens, rather than a family unit.
On our honeymoon, Hanna and I had a whole week on Cape Cod to explore. A native Michigander, I had never been out to the Cape at all and Hanna had only been once, years ago, and then only to Provincetown (more on there later). We didn’t make any hard-and-fast plans about our week of activities, and instead set out to explore.
On Monday we drove back up the Cape to Falmouth and began our day with breakfast at Pop Kitchen, which served up eggs benedict and omelettes and bottomless coffee.
|Hanna & her coffee (used with permission)|
The decor was bright and the food tasty; the only thing to mar the meal was the jerk the next table over on vacation from North Carolina who harassed his waitress and wouldn’t stop gabbing on the phone about how much everything sucked. Proof, I suppose of what we already know: rude people exist pretty much everywhere.
After breakfast, we walked out to Wood’s Hole, where the ferries leave for Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard. It was a beautiful eight-mile round trip walk along the Shining Sea Bikeway.
One of the first buildings we came to in Wood’s Hole was the local NPR affiliate, WCAI, operating out of this home-like building. Between that and the tasty coffee shops, we felt quite at home!
When we got back to Falmouth we went in search of a salon that would do gel manicures — something Hanna had requested as a treat during our vacation.
The salon we found, Bellezza, didn’t have two back-to-back appointments until the following day (which was also forecast to be rainy) so we returned on Tuesday for ice cream and some pampering.
I had never had a manicure before and it was a very odd experience, but the woman who did our nails was very chatty and a fellow cat person, so we mostly talked about the inexplicable activities of our respective feline companions.
The gel manicures were awesome (speaking as someone who always nicks my polish) though expensive; I can’t imagine people who have enough money to make this a regular thing. But it was still fun to have bright color for a couple of weeks.
When we got back to Eastham in the late afternoon, the rose bush on the south side of the cottage had decided to greet us with a few autumn blooms.
Up next: Wellfleet, then Provincetown!
And yes, I do have a few posts of substance rattling around in the back of my mind — one on work, class, financial (in)security, and responsibility, particularly, but I’ve been trying to write it since I was promoted in August and it still hasn’t sorted itself out. So you’re getting pretty pictures instead! I hope you enjoy them.
For our honeymoon on the Cape, we chose to stay in a cottage colony just north of Orleans called Cranberry Cottages; we were in a little studio cottage called “The Honeymooner,” though we didn’t realize that until after we’d arrived!
At the “elbow” of the Cape, the Orleans-Eastham area is a great spot — if you have a car — to explore up and down the Cape. With a week to poke around, we picked a different destination almost every day and took in what there was to see (and taste!).
On our first morning we walked out from our cabin to the rail trail that took us directly into Orleans on foot, where we breakfasted at The Hole in One donut shop and restaurant. Breakfast was so tasty that we decided to take our donuts to go, and have them as a mid-afternoon snack!
What’s a honeymoon / vacation for if not for sitting in Adirondack chairs drinking coffee, eating donuts, and catching up on one’s leisure reading?
For dinner, we found a great restaurant called the Box Office Cafe that offered a wide variety of unique movie-themed pizza. We got the Beetle Juice pizza that featured (vegan) chicken, blueberries, and BBQ sauce. Hanna was skeptical, but I persuaded her and we enjoyed it so much we bought it twice more before the week was out!
Next up … our two days in Falmouth (one outdoorsy, one pamperingly girly).
*In the event that folks have noticed, I’m the only person depicted in these photographs not because Hanna decided not to come along on our honeymoon but because she doesn’t like to share pictures of herself with the world, online or off.
Our wedding morning dawned cool and clear, and we began as we do most Friday mornings, by walking out through Coolidge Corner and down Beacon street to Tatte cafe.
We are so thankful to Tzurit and everyone on the staff at Tatte for welcoming us for our wedding morning!
We had decided that we really wanted our marriage vows to be woven into the fabric of our daily life here in Boston, and at least once a week Hanna and I are able to have breakfast at Tatte before work.
What we like to order is the Brioche Breakfast (we’re particularly fond of the pear marmalade!) and espresso – so that’s what Tzurit and her staff prepared as a wedding feast.
I guess we really wanted all that!
Halfway through breakfast I remembered we had promised to call my folks once it was all official – and I’d forgotten my cell phone at home! Thankfully, our friend M. came to the rescue with her iPhone (which I could use while drinking my latte).
And then we went home and essentially napped for the rest of the day (getting married turns out to be hard work, even if you keep it small!).