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the feminist librarian

the feminist librarian

Tag Archives: writing

new fic: we both kinda liked it [dean/cas]

18 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in fandom

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fanfic, supernatural, writing

So a while back, Hanna and I watched this Supernatural episode from season five called “The End” (5:04) which some of you may remember. The one in which asshole angel Zachariah tries to give Dean a kick in the pants by sending him into an alternate future wherein the shit has hit the fan due to Dean’s unwillingness to follow angelic plans. When present Dean encounters future Dean he has to convince his alternate self he is who he appears to be. And he does it like this:

Future!Dean: Okay. If you’re me, then tell me something only I would know.
Dean: Rhonda Hurley. We were, uh, nineteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it.
Future!Dean: Touché.

In the days that followed, we had several versions of this conversation:

Anna: I really can’t believe that scene doesn’t turn up in fic more often, I mean it’s all right there really.
Hanna: Yup. Right there.
Anna: Like, how it would be something Dean was super secretive and embarrassed about and Cas would totally not understand why it was a source of embarrassment.
Hanna: Yup.
Anna: Someone totally needs to write that fic.
Hanna: It’s all yours. Write away.

(via)

So I did. And now it’s live over at Archive of Our Own.

Title: We Both Kinda Liked It
Author: ElizaJane
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Dean Winchester/Rhonda Hurley
Rating: Explicit
Length: 13,514 words (8 chapters)
Tags: Established Relationship, Past Relationship(s), Gender Policing, John Winchester is an asshole, Castiel goes clothes shopping, Dean is all right.
Summary: You’re twenty-nine. He reminds himself. And Dad’s not here to shout or throw things or give you the fucking silent treatment. And the only other people in the hotel room are his boyfriend-the-fallen-angel and his brother the gayest straight boy that ever lived.

“For the people who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they’ll like.” If this is your sort of thing, hop on over and check it out.

international day of femslash!

14 Saturday Jul 2012

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in fandom

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

fanfic, fun, gender and sexuality, smut, writing

Idris (the TARDIS) in “The Doctor’s Wife”

A few months ago, I discovered there is such a thing in the world as an International Day of Femslash.

o_O

So naturally I had to participate, and my piece went live today over at Archive of Our Own:

Title: These Are The Days We Live Now
Author: ElizaJane
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing: Donna Noble/Idris (the TARDIS)
Rating: R / Explicit (AO3)
Length: 5,487 words
Summary: Idris stretches herself thin, across time, across space, threads of consciousness. Searching. A Donna Noble fix-it fic inspired by “The Doctor’s Wife.”
Tags: Loss, Memory Loss, Human/Non-Human Relationship, Pining, Dreams, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It Fic, Homecoming

You can find it on AO3 (linked above) and eventually it will also be posted at Passion & Perfection and Shatterstorm Productions along with all the other entrants.

As part of the IDF challenge, I was paired with crumpledquill who created a fantastic video trailer for my story (squee!) which you will be able to view on her YouTube channel and as part of the IDF collections at Passion and Shatterstorm. I’ll embed it here when I can!

@feministlib: joining the twitter bandwagon

24 Thursday May 2012

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in admin

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blogging, writing

So I’ve been on Twitter for a couple of years now, but in a very private-personal way. I keep my Twitter account locked down to followers who are close friends and family.

In my headspace, Twitter and email are the two online spaces where I don’t have to worry about presenting myself as I want the world as a whole to see me. I’m not a very private person — and as readers of this blog are aware, there are few topics strictly off-limits. But in spaces where the whole world (potentially) has access, I do try to turn on the Articulation Meter and the Civility Filter rather than hanging out in the Accusing Parlor or the Angry Dome.

I use Tumblr to share links of note (and pictures because what’s Tumblr without pretty things?) but when it comes to sharing my own writing on the interwebs, or quick action alerts, etc., I increasingly find myself wishing I could just make a single tweet or two “public” without losing the privacy of my locked account.

You see where this is going, don’t you?

You can now find the feminist librarian on Twitter: @feministlib.

My plan is to use @feministlib primarily to share links to stuff I’ve been writing in various online spaces. I’m also going to sync it to my (heretofore moribund) Facebook status updates, so for folks whose social networking drug of choice is the Book of Faces (as my friend M. calls it), you’ll be able to find me there.

My Facebook account is closed to non-friends, but I’ll pretty much “friend” anyone who isn’t obviously schilling and/or trolling. I use my metered-filtered voice there and everything!

"in their graves because of false modesty"? [neha spring 2012]

24 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in my historian hat

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gender and sexuality, history, professional gigs, science, the body, writing

This past Saturday, I presented a paper at the spring meeting of the New England Historical Association (NEHA) at Rivier College in Nashua, New Hampshire. You can check out the full text of the presentation here: “In Their Graves Because of False Modesty?”: An Allegation of Sexual Assault in Boston, 1914-1915 (PDF, via DropBox).

The paper was my first attempt to pull together a research project I’m working on into a coherent narrative. The research concerns a mysterious deposition I stumbled upon in the Godfrey Lowell Cabot Papers at the Massachusetts Historical Society. As I write in the opening paragraphs:

Mediated, it is true, by the framework of legal testimony, the narrative voice of the deposition is nevertheless an active one. [Nellie] Keefe [the deposed] describes herself purposefully seeking medical treatment and intervening in that treatment when it goes contrary to her expectations. She positions herself as a consumer of medical services, with the ability to select a treatment plan with which she feels comfortable, rather than the passive recipient of medical care with which she is uncomfortable — from a medical professional whose authority she should not, or cannot, challenge. She evokes the spectre of sexual aggression by describing how Dr. Underhill “turned the light out [and] inserted his finger in my vagina,” yet ultimately circumscribes Underhill’s actions by indicating that she successfully ordered him to stop.

To the modern reader, the deposition feels both remarkably contemporary, yet also deeply embedded in an historically-specific set of social and medical expectations surrounding patient-doctor interactions. While Keefe’s self-reported actions make clear that she was dissatisfied with Underhill’s professionalism, she also indicates that Dr. Underhill was similarly dissatisfied with her performance of the role as patient. “During the treatments he would pull the blanket off me and I would pull it on again and he would pull it off again leaving me stark naked,” she testified, vividly illustrating the battle between patient and doctor over the circumstances under which Keefe’s treatment should proceed. Keefe was clearly unhappy with Dr. Underhill’s methods, yet returned to his office multiple times to try and negotiate a more satisfactory interaction. What appears at first to be a straightforward account of a doctor’s unprofessional conduct is, I would argue, a more complicated document containing multiple and uncertain meanings.

You can download the full paper from DropBox.

Like my past appearances at NEHA, it was great to spend a morning talking history with a diverse and encouraging group of practicing historians from all over New England. I particularly enjoyed the presentation of my co-panelist Allison Hepler (University of Maine, Farmington), whose research into the life of “Communist hussy librarian” Mary Knowles not only paralleled my own project in unexpected ways, but also gave me a certain amount of professional pride (who wouldn’t want to be known as a “Community hussy librarian”?!).

While we had very little time for Q & A at the session, I had warm words of encouragement from folks for the continuation of my research. What questions and reflections I did field helped clarify how I might move forward from here. I’m particularly motivated to explore the network of female friendships and associations that seem to be such a central part of the Keefe-Underhill case. Time to roll up my sleeves and get to work exercising my reference and historical research skills!

things for my thirties [happy birthday to me!]

30 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in life writing

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

holidays, thirty at thirty, work-life balance, writing

So today is my 31st birthday. And to be honest, I’m quite psyched. Because I’m pretty much the age now that I’ve felt, on the inside, most of my life. And I wake up most days feeling like “fuck yeah my life!”

Which is a good, good place to be and something I will try never, ever to take for granted.

A couple of observations for today.

baby Anna and mother Janet, early April 1981

1. Five days after my mother turned thirty-one, she gave birth to me. So I feel like, on some level, this is the point at which my own life narrative and my mother’s life narrative diverge. Which is super-overly-simplistic, really, given that before she was thirty-one my mother did lots of other things I also haven’t done (e.g. date people, get married, get divorced, go to college for architecture, work as a waitress, and go snorkeling in the Cayman Islands). But — all judgyness about parenting/not parenting aside ’cause we don’t really do that in my family — there’s no way to get around the fact that spending your thirties as the full-time parent of three children under the age of ten is going to make for a significantly different kind of decade than the one I have stretching out before me.

Which feels a little weird. Like an opportunity, but weird. One of those moments, as a kid, when you realize your parents — however great they’ve been as models — can only model so far, and so much, before you’re on your own, inventing a life.

2. Not-library things I want to do in my thirties. So I’ve got the next decade before me, an open book. And Hanna and I are settling into life together. Which is really something rich and strange and rather unexpected (I had this notion in my head, for a long time, that I’d probably end up a spinster — in the nicest possible way! I was kinda looking forward to it. But, you know, then Hanna came along and how could I not?). So I have the luxury of thinking about what I’d like to do with myself, other than my professional and partnership activities. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

  • Travel to England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland. I mean, duh. Travel is definitely near the top of my list of things to do with discretionary income (after “buy books” and “eat good food”). 
  • Write and publish erotica. Turns out, at least in the estimation of a few friends (of a range of sexual persuasions) that I have a talent for the stuff. Who knew! But I enjoy writing it and they enjoy reading it, so it seems like it might be fun to try my hand quasi-professionally there. 
  • Find ways to be with young people and age-diverse families. So I’m not going to have children of my own, it looks like. And I’m 95% cool with that. But I’d like to use part of my time this next decade thinking about how my household of two-adults-plus-cat can be hooked into wider networks of caring that encompass families with more age diversity. None of our intimate friends or family have chosen to incorporate children into their lives yet; I’m kinda hoping a few of them do so that we have the opportunity to be kick-ass aunties.
  • Choose and/or create a home. Okay, well, yes. We obviously already have a home together, Hanna and Geraldine and I. But it’s an apartment that started out as a student space, a temporary space, and something not actually selected by both of us, as a couple. It would be nice if, in the next decade, we actually found a home-space through more deliberate selection according to our needs and desires as a family.
  • Research and writing. I have yet to publish that first scholarly monograph. Now with a thesis under my belt, I feel I can move on to other projects — so hello life-long learning! I’m really looking forward to nosing around and finding my niche as a thinker and writer. Not having this be my day job is, in some ways, even more of a blessing since it means I have free reign to explore ideas as I see fit. That was one of my goals of library school: to situate myself as an intellectual in spaces that honored intellectual endeavors, without being required to “publish or perish.” And since I’ve arrived, I’d like to make the most of it.
Happy birthday to me, and welcome to this most fine of decades. Go forth and be joyful.

notes on reading "the secret lives of wives"

17 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in book reviews

≈ 2 Comments

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blogging, writing

Over the weekend, I read an advance review book from LibraryThing called The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married by journalist Iris Krasnow (Gotham Books, 2011). Hanna wasn’t happy with me since I spent most of Saturday ranting at the book. I find this satisfying; she finds it anxiety-producing. At least when I use words like “heteronormative” and “shallow bitch.”

I’ll be writing a review of this book, where I try to be slightly more measured in my criticisms. You know: balancing those out with the fairly innocuous observations Krasnow makes about what it takes to maintain strong interpersonal relationships with those truly heinous arguments grounded in gender essentialist bullshit. But for now, I thought readers of the feminist librarian might be amused at the notes I took in preparation for writing said review, scrawled in the front and back cover of the book. So here they are verbatim:

Inside the front cover:


     no brownie points for
     heteronormativity
     evopsych bullshit
     gender/sex essentialism
     focus on women — makes it women’s work
              — p. 66, p. 119, p. 135-36, p. 138, p. 202-08 HARMFUL, p. 219.
     concern trolling — p. 37, p. 12
     “secret”
     “surrender”
     “males” and “females”
     “divorce epidemic”
     “me decade”
     not getting [that] this book isn’t universal!!!  
     describing physical appearance –> [ran out of room; continues below “points for” list]

points for  
     acknowledging agenda, limits [of study]
     no one-size-fits-all, to a point
     self-responsibility for happiness
     outside relationships
     aloneness = positive
     “who are you beyond Mommy?” (101)
     activity, engagement, etc. duh
     p. 198 friendship    

[no brownie points for, cont’d]
     “gay best friend” stereotype
     feminist hate-ons
     privileging marriage relationships
     not recognizing economic privilege
          — travel, house, etc. professionals. p. 140
     negotiation isn’t possible? wtf?
     all couples w/kids?? — p. 145
     Depression-era idealization

*compare to marriage across cultures book*

Inside the back cover:

relentless heteronormativity — relentless
“need”
“essential”
good marriage = lasting marriage
marriage vs. dating, no other options
“women need marriage” O_o … (p. 8)
“marriage = sex” O_o … (p. 9)
better than the crazy therapy lady?
evopsych bullshit ARGH
p. 57 aloneness + self-awareness (duh)
p. 40 network of support and fulfillment (duh)
reading this book made me so grateful for my parents
any dads as primary parent??
p. 257 ARGH

gender essentialism
oppositional binary
ageism – against youth, against age
tokenism

So there you have it folks. That’s the raw material from whence my review will spring. Although I admit to being puzzled by a couple of these notes myself (who the heck is “the crazy therapy lady” I was thinking about??). Still, I hope you enjoyed this rare opportunity to observe the inner workings of a book review in process. It’s a public service after all: I read books like this so y’all don’t have to!

new blog launched: the corner of your eye

05 Thursday Jan 2012

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in admin

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blogging, hanna, movies, television, writing

I warned you it was coming, and now it’s here! Hanna and I have started a new joint review blog, the corner of your eye* , which can be found at corner-of-your-eye.blogspot.com. or via the link on the left-hand sidebar under “find me elsewhere online.”

the corner of your eye

I know, I know … like either of us have scads of free time going to waste. But none of our existing online spaces are really dedicated to arts and culture reviews per se, and we thought it might be fun to experiment with joint blogging. Really, it’s pure indulgence for us both in terms of letting us opinionate about the books, movies, and television shows that occupy so much of our discretionary time (when we’re not writing fan fiction or trawling the interwebs).

Our goal is to put up two posts a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’ll likely be cross-posting some content here, particularly when the creative juices are running low.

We’re still tweaking the visual look of the blog, so please feel free to comment re: accessibility and all the rest.


*bonus points for anyone who can identify the allusion

new fic + nano recap

20 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in fandom

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downton abbey, fanfic, smut, writing

via

I’ve put off writing a recap of National Novel-Writing Month because, sadly, a brutal migraine caught up with me over the Thanksgiving weekend and put the kibosh on meeting my (until then quite reasonable) personal goal of 25,000 words for the month. Still, I clocked in at just over 20K.

But meanwhile, thanks to participation in NaNo, I made writing erotica a top priority in November and completed a ~13,000 installment of my ongoing How She Loved You series featuring Sybil and Gwen from Downton Abbey. I finally had a chance to take Hanna’s beta suggestions into account and code the piece for AO3 this past weekend.

So if fic be your thing, head on over and check it out:

Like Sorrow Or a Tune
by ElizaJane
Fandom: Downton Abbey
Pairing: Sybil/Gwen
Summary: Six scenes that trace the contours of Sybil and Gwen’s relationship from the first morning after to the night of their reunion in London, in the flat where they will make their home. This is the inevitable “five times” fic. Five times Sybil and Gwen parted before dawn and one time they didn’t have to.

Now I should head back to reading Gayle S. Rubin’s 1980s essays on the porn wars, which I have to say are an incentive like few other things to get into the business of writing and reading smut. Because really, people, really. Politics of disgust like crazy and that’s just not cool. Life is short. Write good porn.

nano update: week three

22 Tuesday Nov 2011

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in fandom

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fanfic, writing

I’m closing in on my own personal goal of 25,000 words for the month of November, folks! On this Tuesday before Thanksgiving, my official count is 18,444 and the only thing standing between me and completion is the complete sixth season of Doctor Who (I KNOW) and a Tofurky with orange-cranberry relish.

I had Hanna beta the impromptu Breakfast in Bed Challenge from last week and posted that to AO3 on Friday night, so you can go read All That the Garish Week Hath Scattered Wide if you want canoodling and nakedness and a pesky cat.

The five-times-plus-one fic is done but for the second half of the sixth part, which Hanna said on the walk to work yesterday was much to complicated a math problem for early in the morning. With the NaNo word-count whip behind me, it’s by far the lengthiest installment of my Sybil/Gwen series to-date. But I also happen to be rather fond of it, and the plottish bit finally, finally gets them to London which is definitely where I wanted the series to take them.

Hanna has requested that I create Branson a boyfriend, since I’ve taken Sybil away from him. So that will obviously have to be done at some point. My first foray into m/m erotica? We’ll find out the limits of my smut-writing abilities!

nano update: week two

15 Tuesday Nov 2011

Posted by Anna Clutterbuck-Cook in fandom

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fanfic, fun, writing

So they have the widgets up this week, but I’m not sure I’m all that thrilled with them. The color scheme is unimpressive. Still. Here ya go. As of this morning I have 13,880 words written toward the official goal of 50,000 and my personal goal of 25,000.

I like the screenshot a bit better. Perhaps I’m just vain?

This past weekend, I wrote a 3,300 word “plot? what plot?” bit of fan fiction at the request of a friend of mine, which accounts for a fairly large chunk of the total gain made. I’ll probably edit it tomorrow evening and post it to AO3 if anyone is feeling deprived of Sybil/Gwen smut and wants something to look forward to for mid-week. It’s about as plot-what-plot as I think I’ll ever be capable of writing. Let’s just say it involved doing some Google searching for the date upon which the zeppelin raids began on London (to ensure that leisurely morning sexytimes wasn’t historically inaccurate) and to verify the name an inception date for Sylvia Pankhurst’s East London Federation of Suffragists (yes, the acronym really was ELFS).

Happy writing everyone!

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